Monday, February 11, 2008

The Week Begins

Schedule this week:

Monday: Rescheduling appointments and lab draws. Exercise and resting, then dialysis from 5:30-10 p.m.

Tuesday: Chemotherapy at 9 a.m., Social Security interview at 1 p.m., Cancer support group at 2:45 p.m.

Wednesday: Dialysis shifts from 7:30-11:30 a.m.

Thursday: Exercise and rest day.

Friday: Dialysis from 7:30-11:30 a.m., Chemotherapy follows at UW Cancer Clinic. (We will have left home at about 6 am and then have returned by late afternoon.)

Saturday and Sunday: Exercise and rest days.

(Let me add to this that a trip to Madison from our home near Blue Mounds is at least a two hour round trip!)


But Why Can't We Visit?

Some of you have chided and counseled me (gently) about the fact that Sabine is being isolated from her friends who deeply love her. We know that, but the situation we find ourselves at the present time does not seem to leave much time for visits.

We are struggling with finding a routine and routine has not been found. Between our many medical appointments, dialysis, chemotherapy, and lab tests we seem to be running from one appointment to another. When we have a day off it is more often than not spent resting and napping.

Then there is the matter of Sabine’s energy level with her tanked-out immune system, extremely low energy (anemia) and nausea and lack of appetite. As I have said before, the problem with being around Sabine (even if we set the immune system problem aside) is that her nature is to reach out to YOU, to focus on YOU to even take care of YOU when she needs (perhaps for the first time in her life) to focus on herself.

So, until she gets her strength back (and we are hoping and praying for at least some times when that will be the norm) it is not in her best interest to socialize.

Now, I may be wrong here and I am open to feedback on this, but as I see it now – that is, where we are right now in this treatment plan to arrest the growth of these vicious cancer cells – socialization is not her primary need.

Let me also say that this is not my decision alone. Sabine and I have talked and talked about this and it is her feeling that she does not now have the energy to engage with others.

Now as far as our psychological equilibrium and health is being maintained, let me just say that, as you can see above, we are planning on attending a cancer support group at GHC this week, and we talk and share our feelings on a regular basis. We also have scheduled in the monthly Madison Myeloma Support Group on February 19th. Unfortunately, both those days are chemo days and we will have to see how that goes…

Like I said, routine is not something we have found as of yet… We deeply thank all of you for your love and concern and continuing offers of help.

I see this as a long, long battle. We have been through D-Day, we are on the beach, but victory is a long, long way ahead. Consider yourselves as being held in reserve. We will need you in the future. Be steady… Hold on.