Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Reflecting on Feelings
On Monday night we saw the animated film, "Up." I am somewhat embarassed to reveal to you that while watching this movie I was reduced to tears at least two times -- and it was a cartoon!
What I came to understand is that Sabine's cancer diagnosis is still right there -- still a deep fear of her death and how I will be able to go on (after all, we are still having a great adventure together -- but like all of our adventures and realtionships, they will one day end!).
While on vacation, I finished Stephen Levine's book, "A Year to Live," and it, again, highlighted the importance of living each day fully -- breathing in life with each breath, of savoring it, and then the next breath... tasting and savoring it as well.
I know I am deeply fearful of Sabine's death and my own ability to surmount the deep pain and loss it will trigger. But I still sense God is in this with me and somehow, I will and can go on -- somehow.
In the meantime, each day with her is a blessing and as I write this I find I must quickly stop or short-circuit my keyboard which is very sensitive to beign immersed in water.
Blessings, my friends -- embrace the journey!