March Update

I know many of you look for updates on Sabine's cancer fight (and you know that for the most part, NO news is GOOD news)!  So, my "quietness" has been because Sabine's increased chem has been going along pretty well.  Yes, she is tired, but she still gets her exercise in every morning!

We recently got her "labs" back and the "numbers" were reduced (last month they were 100 and now with the increased dosage of Revlimid they fell to 75).  We meet with Dr Sheehan on Wednesday and we expect that he will be happy with the treatment results.  However, Sabine's hemoglobin and platelets have also dropped (hence the tiredness associated with this chemo) and I am sure Dr Sheehan will have us continue to monitor her blood work (which otherwise looks pretty good).

We both are anxiously awaiting the warm winds of Spring!  It's been a long winter!

Gratefully, I remain.

Visiting Hospice

First of all, the medical report: good.  Sabine is more tired but tolerating the increase chemo dosage. We check the "numbers" again in a couple of weeks and see how the cancer is responding.  Otherwise, we both anxiously await the tide of spring!

Now for more:

A dear friend from one of our support groups checked into the hospice center last week.  They called us to tell us about the progress of the cancer and what had happened.  You know, it's so easy and comfortable to live in your head.  Oh, the hospice center that I had heard so much about but never had anyone I knew in it.  A good time to visit, to see her and her husband and to check the place out... all rational "head stuff." 

But once there, that old question from clinical pastoral training came into my mind as Sabine and I opened the front door. "What's this like? What's the feelings?

Sabine and I had errands to do so we arrived and left in two separate cars.  I sat for some time in my car pondering these questions and writing the following poem...


a call to visit
a friend in hospice on
a wintery day
routine
that's what i do
(or so i thought)
and then
a gnawing
dread
appears and takes
control
"i must leave" you
say
and i
caught
feeling stupid
to ever think this
was less
than
it was
and what i thought
would be
just another
medical visit
becomes to each of
us
that day
the day in which
we, too,
will open these
large wooden
doors
enter together
but only
one of
us
would
leave.

Update, February 2011

The old adage still prevails: "No news is good news!"

Thus, my silence...

Since our last post, Sabine has had to increase her Revlimid dosage from 10 to 15 mg. in order to try and arrest the growing blood cancer.

So far, so good.  She is experiencing more tiredness, but is still her usually "bubbly" self and still into daily excercise (we just did a 5 mile walk up two major hills with our trusty canine companion, Mocha!).

We go back and see Dr Sheehan in a couple of weeks and take a look what Sabine's blood work reveals.

We had a great time in Florida and our anxiously awaiting the warm breezes of spring!

Peace.

A Valentine to a Cancer Patient

i started to
write direct
prose
for this day
of hearts
i found the words
not quite
so
i go to my preferred
broken verse
as these words
unfold
they become
(to me)
both whole and
holy
thoughts of these
years together
of
the cancer time
which to
some
would be the
unraveling
the distancing
but to me
these are the special
years
the bonding time
cementing a love
which I thought
could never be
more stronger
its become
a love
so deep
so marvelous
nothing
no tragedy
no loss
no grief
no cancer
can erode
can fracture
this bond between
us
ever.

Avoiding Snow / Recharging engines!

Usually, we love our Wisconsin winters -- snowshoeing and skiing.  But each winter Sabine loves to "go south."  And that means Florida for us.  So what does Sabine do when she comes to Florida?

She visits and plays with family.
She dances.
She takes long beach walks.
She eats.
She works out at the gym.
She goes to a performance  .
She gets a massage.

Getting it on at the Cafe Tu Tu Tango in Orlando.

Hikin' the beach!

Moving those muscles at the gym.

A patio massage with the seabreeze and surf in the background.





The fabulous "Flamenco Express" danced at the Lyric Theater in nearby Stuart.

Lunch at the marina at Fort Pierce.

The Isaac Byrd, Jr. Jazz Band at Stuart's Riverwalk.

Breakfast on St Pete's beach.



Grand daughter and great-grand kids!



 BUT MOST AND BEST OF ALL...

BOTH OF US COME HOME RESTED AND PREPARED TO CONTINUE THE CANCER FIGHT!

On the Road Again (with our trusty dialysis machine!)

There is something liberating and peaceful about our vacation time.  I was really looking forward to our trip to Florida.  My expectations were certainly met with our visits to new family members (the Gowers) and reconnecting with daughters Catherine and Jennifer and their families in nearby St Petersburg.

Of course, Sabine loves vacations!  She always has.  And the chemotherapy seems to be going well (we will check the numbers again when we return).  I also can report that the on-the-road hemo dialysis has been going well and I have been able to make the vein connections without complications (thanks be to God!).

Just before we left Orlando and headed off to the beach on the east coast (Hutchinson Island) the dialysis machine failed.  Not completely, but started to give us some worrying signals the last hour of treatment.  We made it through and called our dialysis nurses in Madison and then the manufacturer of the machine -- NextStage on the east coast.  (Yes, they had just been snowed in with a tremendous blizzard).

We took the next day off (Friday) and drove to Hutchinson Beach where NextStage said they would deliver a NEW machine after 5 pm.  We arrived at the condo, unpacked, and soon had a call from the desk that our machine had arrived from the airport in Miami.  Magic!

So we have a new machine for this morning's treatment as we spend our last week on the beach.  The weather has been great (up to 80 degrees yesterday) and plenty of sunshine. Just what Sabine needs!

Here's a few pics!

Sabine and friends at the Cafe Tu Tu Tango in Orlando

On St Petersburg Beach

Bowling with kids and grandkids at the Ten Pin Lanes

Fresh grouper at the marina in Fort Pierce

The view from our condo on Hutchinson Island near Jensen Beach

Florida

[Coughing, wheezing, sniffling, hacking] "Well, we just might as well be sick in warm Florida than in freezing Wisconsin!" So we headed south, drove 800 miles before we saw grass and even though we scraped our windows in Lake City, we were in Florida and it had to get warmer.

I was worried that Sabine's cough could be related to her cancer -- so, when I finally caught a cold, I was relieved...  Such is the nature of a caregiver/battle buddy.

Here's some pics from our stop at my granddaughter Nikki and four GREAT grandkids in southern Illinois and at our timeshare in Orlando near Disney World.

(Oh, yes, our colds have seem to disappear with the frost...]