Three Months!

Here's some pics from Dr Sheehan's office and the dialysis center as we start developing an access in Sabine's arm and rid ourselves of the tunnel catheter in her neck!

Yesterday was Sabine's second post-transplant meeting with her oncologist/hemotologist Dr Sheehan at the University of Wisconsin Cancer Clinic. He reviewed her blood work and checked her out. After doing all this, Dr Sheehan announced, see you in three months!

Thanks be to God -- his mercy is everlasting! What a journey we have had during the past 23 months! And what wonderful friends we have. Thank you, again!

At Wisconsin Dialysis Center

We're baaaaak! Yep, at the Wisconsin Dialysis Center again to take another step in our journey. We are returning to the Center three times a week for the next six weeks to develop and access port (fistula/"buttonhole") in Sabine's arm. When this is developed (matured) we will be able to do our home hemodialysis through the vein-artery connection that was surgically put into place earlier this year.

The benefit of using a fistula in her arm versus the plastic tunnel catheter she has had in her neck for almost two years will be enormous because we will be able to remove the tunnel catheter which is always has the danger of becoming either clotted or infected.

Other than that, Sabine's cancer numbers (those nasty lambda light chain proteins) are behaving themselves and she is now, after the second series of blood tests post stem cell transplant, still within normal ranges. We see Dr Sheehan tomorow for the second check-up since the transplant. Thanks be to God, all remains well and we are both looking forward to a great Wisconsin winter with lots of snow!

A Poem for Fall

it’s a sunny-crisp
quiet
november day
has everyone left?
our morning chirpers
flown south
our friends the sandhills
florida by now
the pond peepers
silent
we mulch leaves
put away lawn furniture
stack wood
drain faucets
the furnace man
and chimney sweep
come and go
yes, it’s sunny-crisp day
as winter
quietly
methodically
walks south
tree by tree
and we
in respite
walk our woods
then to read a book
snuggling
by the wood stove
touched by
radiance.

A Happy All Hallow's Eve

We continue to enjoy this blessed "interim" period in which the cancer does not dominate our life with medical appointments, chemotherapy, and the constant barrage of lab tests. We attended our church's "Trunk or Treat" in Mazomanie. The adults dress up and park their autos in the church parking lot, open the trunks and wait for the kids crying, "Trunk or treat!" We are happy to announce that we did not have to put any of the children in our trunk.

The next picture portrays a "boys afternoon out" on Friday. My friend Jeff and I got together at his house and after some heavy discussion that solved the world's problems, we took a motorcycle ride around the Blue Mounds area. (Jeff has TWO big bikes!). It brought back a lot of memories of motorcycles in my past -- from teenager dirt track days to getting rid of my last motorcycle when I went off to seminary, having decided God saved me enough and I wasn't taking anymore chances!)

But the real exciting event of the weekend involved trusty wonder dog, Mocha, who ran into a fence or some sharp object on our morning walk in the woods and received a nasty gash in her chest. We had to make an early morning "ER" run to the vet that morning. Thanks to Dr Williams (another Dr Williams is Sabine's GP) being in his office in Mt Horeb, we got her stitched up. Then we had to go to Goodwill and select an appropriate shirt for her to wear so she wouldn't take out her stitches! (You can't see it clearly but it is a cheerleader's top with sequins attached!).

So we are enjoying this calm in our life. In a couple of weeks we begin the "buttonholing" in Sabine's arm. The surgery went well and her arm has healed quite well. This will involve driving into the Madison dialysis clinic three times a week until the sight is developed and we can use it for home dialysis.

We hoping for a winter with lots of snow so we can do a lot of snowshoeing and skiing!

And a Happy All Saints' Day to all of you who have been saints to us!

Sailing along...

(Up north near Iron River -- yes, that's snow!)

If you are wondering what happened to my regular weekly posts, let me just say that in this wonderful grace period I find myself not needing to write about Sabine's illness. Her surgery went well and we are about to start "buttonholing" in a couple of weeks at the dialysis clinic in Madison. After her dialysis access point (the buttonhole) is developed we will resume home dialysis and the tunnel catheter in her neck will be removed (you may remember this is an ever-present site for possible infection).

In the interim, I have taken to writing another blog on the religious/spiritual experience and how one's beliefs should inform our action.

This blog can be found here on blogspot at:

http://christinyouchristinme.blogspot.com/

Hope the summer has been as good for you as it has been for us.

Successful Surgery

We had a great and successful day at UW Hospital yesterday. The surgery went well, and the medical staff were great!

Sabine's vein has "matured" over the last six months and she will be ready to start the "buttonholing" procedure in about three weeks.

She slept well last night (just a little pain) and woke up raring and ready to go to see the Broadway musical, "Spring Awakening" in Milwaukee tonight!!

p.s. by the way, I am doing another blog on life, living, God and the Holy Spirit at


http://christinyouchristinme.blogspot.com

Reflecting After 22 Months

I thought this would be a good time to reflect -- 22 months into the breach.

While the unexamined life isn't worth living, so also is a life in which there is no reflection. We are all so into action that reflection seems not worth our time; a trivial pursuit. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

It has now been nearly two years since Sabine took ill. It was the worst time in my life and it also became the very best time in my life. How can I say that? Stay with me... while Sabine's illness and fatal cancer diagnosis scared me almost to death and broke me emotionally, it also brought into focus what is important in my life. As a friend of mine reminded me, responsibility is not meaning. Men like me take being responsible, in charge, in control as being meaning. I found out it isn't. I was no longer in control.

For the first time in my life I HAD to depend upon God. I had two choices -- put myself into God's hands or to kiss God goodbye (I did consider the latter!). The choice I made was reasonable and rational -- it is the mettle of the psalms -- "trust in God -- no matter what happens."

God sustained me. God answered my prayer and lifted me up when I was down; encouraged me and listened to my tears. Because of the terrible days, I more deeply appreciate the many wonderful ones we share in between. It is in our primary loving relationships that we get glimpses of God and, at the same time, we are given our greatest test as human persons.

I also realized that the intense happiness I have enjoyed loving Sabine for 28 years and being her partner is temporary in this life. One day it will come to an end as sad and frightening that may seem to me. There is a beginning, middle and end to all things on this earth; no sense whistling past those graveyards.

I know this now. I have come to grips with it and it is OKAY! This realization strengthened my faith in a loving, caring, compassionate God who is worth seeking and knowing.

So, today I am reflecting. I am thankful. What Sabine and I have sustained together strengthens my life and deepens even more my love for her.

Peace and love to each one of you who have walked this journey with us.

Life is good and worthwhile and so is the One who creates and sustains it.