T Day + 9

Waiting.
Went home late.
Sabine called.
Rough night.
Returned to hospital.
Slept in a chair.
Coughing... gagging...
Emergency down the hall.
Lungs clear.
Temperature ok.
Rained all night.
Blood drawn.
Walked outside.
Rounds.
Still on course.
But...
No new cells...
Yet.
Waiting.

T Day + 8

Still waiting for those stem cells to kick in...

Sabine is still pretty weak but gets out daily for her walk despite the extreme inflammation in her throat which prevents her from eating, low-grade fever and jumpy bowels. She gets her hydration now intravenously.

In addition, she has had both blood and platelet transfusions to keep her strength up. She also receives a human growth hormone daily to invigorate cell growth.

Nevertheless, Dr Longo and able crew feel everything is going as it should be as her blood numbers are just about zero. So, wait.

Her daily labs will reveal when the new stem cells start grabbing hold.

Our nurse and othe medical team members have been simply great!

T Day +7

We are beginning our seventh day. It's rainy outside and I stayed at the hospital with Sabine last night. I thought this would be tough, but not this tough! And I'm not the patient.

Sabine's "numbers" have crashed, platelets, white blood cells, the whole immune system in order to let the stem cells kick in. In the meantime, she is going through hell. It is so hard to sit here and not be able to alleviate the situation... she is unable to eat any solids due to a swollen throat and she also is suffering from an elevated temperature which we watch with great trepidation as it could indicate a serious infection.

It's just waiting now... and tolerating all this... for a better future.

That gives me hope...

Psalm 23 is still the prayer I say for both of us.

T Day +5

After a couple of shaky days (nausea, loose bowels, mouth sores, no appetite, no taste) things started to turn up. Sabine's clinical "numbers" are looking good and progressing downward (as they should be). Today was Sabine's first neupogen injection to stimulate her bone marrow. And dialysis is a bit of a drag (after all, no one can do it better than me, right?).

Sister Barbara is doing a great job in spelling me (as brother-in-law Ken and I do some relaxing visits to REI and Cabella's and begin to scout the elusive trout on the streams near Black Earth).

I have been getting out on my bike and logging a few miles to relieve my own stress!

Good friends stand at the ready. Ah yes, WE CAN DO THIS! YES WE CAN!

Today, Dr Longo mentioned Monday as a possibility -- Sabine is excited, barring a possible infection (which is always possibile) she might be going home on Monday or Tuesday. Wow! That's a week ahead of schedule! God willing!

Sabine remains a real trooper -- exercising, meditating, and just being the wonderful soul that she is. Thank you, Lord!

And so... another day in the tunnel... another day closer to going home... another day of healing... another day of blessing...

T Day+3

“Yea, though I go through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; thy rod and thy staff comfort me…”

The familiar words of the 23rd psalm echo in my head. Transplant Day +3 (what an ordeal for Sabine!)

Our close friends often remark that Sabine and I are “joined at the hip.” When you go through something like this with your beloved, and you are truly “joined at the hip,” it seems that the pain of the beloved becomes your pain. Maybe that’s what the Christian theology of the Cross really means – when one is connected to another, their suffering is your suffering.

Sabine’s sister, Barbara, has been a Godsend (is she really an angel?). She monitors the entrance to Sabine’s room, makes sure the staff is hand-washing, checks lab work, and knows the name of every healthcare worker in the transplant unit! (I don’t doubt that she will soon know the names of the folks who work on the floors above and below Sabine’s!)

Each day for Sabine is a challenge: nausea, loose bowels, swollen mouth and throat as her “numbers” drop each day and the stem cells struggle to reproduce. We are hoping that some recovery will be evident beginning T+5.

In the meantime, keep her in both your thoughts and prayers… We are still in Eastertide – and new life is all around us! Alleluia!


In the hospital room.














Sabine still does everything she can to try and get outside every day for exercise. Here she is at one of the beautiful gardens on the UW campus.










Dr Walter Longo, her attending physician. His healing touch and words have been so important to us along this journey.











Here's a great picture of Sabine with her sister, Barbara (endearingly called, "Nurse Ratchett") on the shore of Lake Mendota, a short walk from UW Hospital.


(Sabine suggested to me this morning that maybe we could say we were going on a walk and then drive to our cottage where she could be in her own bed and get some sleep! Would this be "patient-knapping?")

T Day +2

i know
the fear and helplessness
i suffer
is
nothing
compared to the
disconnecting
desolate
pain
and nausea
you encounter
each of these days since
that day
we know
good will come
of it
but tell me again
how many more days?
in the meantime
my insides grip
and weep
as you lie there
waiting
for your resurrection
for new life
waiting to birth
new cells
waiting
together
no
even crouching
to spring upon
seize
and crush the
cancer demon
that
invaded you
waiting

T-Day + 1

Transplant day plus one! We are on the way d-o-w-n! Sabine's blood numbers are dropping as the chemo takes action. The cells were planted yesterday and in about 7-10 days she should be at her low point and her numbers beginning to climb. Sister Barbara (Nurse Ratchet) has been a great help in relieving me -- Sabine says that I am to REST during this time so I can be raring and ready to go when she comes home from the hospital somewhere between T+15 and T+21.

She has still be exercising by getting a walk in everyday or using the fancy compact exercise equipment daughter Yumi sent to her.

The staff has been wonderful and so we, like farmers, look for the first green shoots that signify a successful planting.

We feel your prayers! Thank you!