SABINE

Another drop!

2012-01-21T08:07:00.001-06:00

For those of you who are following the "numbers," they are down again. Second round of Velcade/Dex and the chemo has repressed those nasty light chains down into the normal range -- 18!

What's next? Well, we will see Dr Sheehan next Tuesday and see if we continue the present course, wait and see, or try something else.

In the meantime, life is good.

2012 Update

2012-01-13T09:18:00.001-06:00

Sabine and our son, "Zeke" just before his journey took him
to Guatemala. Zeke came home for Christmas and stayed
for awhile to see that mom's chemo went okay.

Here we are! Starting our fifth year living with cancer.

I think I updated the present. Sabine's numbers started climbing this summer (but had a whole summer off without chemo). We predicted Dr Sheehan would start an intervention this fall -- and he did.

We started a two week cycle of Velcade + dexamethasone, with a week off.

After this first cycle the chemo knocked Sabine's rising number down almost to the normal range.

Dr Sheehan decided to do one more Velcade/dex cycle and see what happens.

So, that's where we are today -- in the second cycle -- we had to cancel our trip south this winter because of the chemo cycle which requires us to go into UW Hospital two days a week for the Velcade which is administered by IV drip.

Sabine continues exercising and being her wonderfully happy self. She is a little tired, but doing well.

I have gotten my book into the publisher and also doing well.

God is good and will provide.

New Year's Blessings to all of you!

Winter Update

2011-12-30T12:15:00.000-06:00

It's been a busy December -- family, kids, grandkids, church, friends...

Some good news: It looks like Sabine's first round of chemotherapy is working! After one cycle with Velcade+Dexamethasone she is in "normal" limits!

Bad news -- she picked up a respiratory infection and is now being treated with an antibiotic called the "Z-pak." Lot of coughing.... some temperature rises... and a worried husband.

More to soon to come.

Love and blessings to our blog friends!

In the Trench!

2011-12-08T10:31:00.001-06:00

Sabine dialyzing on the train coming back from San Antonio
this summer.

We are back in the "trench" (that's what I call chemotherapy and I'm only the support person!
It's been a great summer. Sabine has had almost 6 months off without chemo. But we have seen the "numbers" slowly creep back up and now we have come to the point that Dr Sheehan believes some chemical intervention is necessary.

Starting next week, it's chemo infusion (IV) two days a week at the U.W. hospital for a two week cycle followed by a week off.

Off we go. Back in the trench -- but being back in the trench means the shots fly over your head, right?

The really bad thing for Sabine is that this means we can't go south to warm up this winter.

We will see. Maybe a weekend at a local water park?

Christmas is coming. Life is still a blessing. And we begin our 5th year of fighting cancer together!

Sabine dialyzes on the train from San Antonio

2011-11-18T16:55:00.001-06:00

This was a bit of a challenge on the rockin' rollin' train but we did it!

Riding the Rails

2011-11-14T11:03:00.001-06:00

A journey to see daughter Yumi who, after returning from Afghanistan, is now studying to be an Army social worker in San Antonio at the Army Graduate School.

So, with another cancer blood test coming up next month (and the strong possibility of going back to a regimen of chemotherapy, we decided to jump on the train with our dialysis equipment and head out to sunny San Antonio.

Relaxing in the top bunk on the Amtrak train.

Ever the writer...

Worshiping with Yumi and Rees at their church,
St Mark's Episcopal in downtown S.A.

Sabine, Rees, Yumi and me outside of St Marks.

Lunch after church with Yumi and friends, Jane and Mike.

The morning "blood washing." After that, we headed out
to the Riverwalk downtown. Maybe some tamales?

One of the problems I have it hitting that vein when Sabine's arm is
in a different position than I am used to at home... sometimes
I have to make numerous "sticks." Ugh.

We arrived after about 20+ hours on the train (we had a compartment so we could dialyze on the way back (I will report on how that went!). But in the meantime we do our daily exercise, dialyze in our hotel room, visit with Yumi and her beau, Rees, and explore the city.

Sabine's Summer

2011-10-18T11:48:00.001-05:00

Some pictures to capture Sabine's "no-chemotherapy" summer!

Our first-ever family "restoration houseboat cruise on the Mississippi River

Tandem cycling on the 400 Trail near Reedsburg.

It took 30 years to get Sabine back on a tandem! She seems to be enjoying it.

Our annual vacation time with sister Barb and hubby Ken (this has been going on for 30 years!)

On the Mississippi -- and lovin' it and her.

Sabine relaxing poolside. I thought when women grew old they wore purple?

Constructing Sabine's bridge at our farm.

A great kayaking summer on the Rock, Pine, Baraboo, Grant and Yahara rivers.

Thanksgiving!

2011-09-15T10:31:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, we returned to the UW Cancer Center after a 12-week hiatus. Earlier, the lab results on Sabine's cancer were encouraging. The numbers were slowly (not exponentially) increasing. That was good news. Dr Sheehan looked at Sabine's labs, checked her out, and said, "I'll see you in 12 weeks." Twelve weeks? That's great. It seems that the last year in Revlimid has significantly slowed down the growth of Sabine's blood cancer.

All I can say is "praise God from whom all blessings flow!" And thanks for your prayers, friendship, and concern.

The battle continues but with a little less desperation (at least on my part!).

False Alarm

2011-09-08T11:18:00.001-05:00

Sabine's back tests all proved negative. Whew! (Maybe she pulled a muscle kayaking two days in a row a couple of weeks ago.) Next stop -- Dr Sheehan's office next Wednesday and looking at the blood test results of the cancer activity. Little, I pray.

A Summer (Almost) Without Cancer

2011-09-05T11:10:00.002-05:00

The Couper family's "Restoration Cruise" this summer.

This Spring Sabine received a 12 week respite from her dailyregimen of chemotherapy. It was a welcome break which enabled us to forget(almost) her cancer this summer. Next week is the 12^th week and time for theblood test and conference with Dr Sheehan that will tell us what the cancer is doing or (hopefully) has not doing.

The respite permitted us to have a more flexibledialysis schedule, take a number of kayak trips, attend plays at the APT, and engagefully in my family’s “restoration cruise” on the Mississippi River last month(see http://christinyouchristinme.blogspot.com).

Sabine with granddaughter Taylor.

So, it has been a good summer. But for me, it always seemsthat I am looking over my shoulder, warily watching out for the cancer which seems tostalk us. Yes, I worry... but it seems that this summer I have worried less than I have the past two summers.And that’s an improvement.

But last week Sabine had some back pain. Alert! Warning bell! The urinalysiswas negative but we have not heard back on the Xrays. Waiting. Worrying.

Sabine continues to exercise daily and reports the pain itnot as bad as it was last week. Still back pain (and the complicationsregarding bone loss with Multiple Myeloma and dialysis) is something I will continue to worry about.

So, it’s back to see Dr Sheehan next week at the UW CancerClinic and formulating some next steps depending on what those nasty lightchains in Sabine’s blood were up to (or not up to) this summer.

In January, we will enter our 4^th year livingwith cancer. I know we both are grateful to God for the time we have been givenand the family and friends who continue to pour out their love upon us. Yes, life is good! Infact, it is very good!

Six Week Numbers

2011-07-29T11:05:00.001-05:00

Sabine has been now six weeks without chemotherapy. The "cancer numbers," though not zero (as we continue to hope and pray for) have not risen too dramatically. When we stopped the chemo she was at 26 (normal free lambda light chain range is 5.7-26.3).

Now the blood test revealed that it had risen to 42. My prediction is that Dr Sheehan will not take action and wait until the 12 weeks without chemo are completed. The next test in 6 weeks will tell us the rate of the increase and dictate our next steps.

In the meantime, Sabine is enjoying the summer by being active -- exercising for about an hour each day, kayaking, cycling and, after seeing "The Jersey Boys" in Milwaukee this week, humming all those great songs from the Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons -- "C'mon Marianne, Ragdoll, Silence is Golden, Bye Bye Baby, and Can't Take My Eyes Off of You..."

Lazy Summer (so far)

2011-07-25T11:40:00.000-05:00

Here we are at the mid-point. The summer off -- no chemotherapy for Sabine. Tweleve whole weeks! Now it's at the half-way point and today Sabine goes for a blood test to check and see what the cancer has been doing (or, hopefully, NOT doing!). It has now been six weeks without chemotherapy and this coming week we will know what has been going on in Sabine's blood... and what our next step is...

Nevertheless, it has been a hot, but nice summer. We have been exercising daily, kayaking the Rock River, tandem cycling in Penninsula State Park in Door County and attending the American Players Theater in nearby Spring Gree.

Son Michael came for a few days and went cycling with me. It's been 28 years since we went cycling together. Nostalgia.

And in less than a month, the Couper side of the family is getting together on the Mississippi River at Lansing, IA, to do some serious houseboating!

Carpe diem!

Sabine's Newsletter Submission

2011-06-28T10:26:00.001-05:00

(The following is an article Sabine recently submitted for the Wisconsin Dialysis Center Newsletter)

It has been a long time since I have written an article for the newsletter. Some of you may recall that I was diagnosed 3-1/2 years ago with multiple myeloma (a “terminal” blood cancer) which usually carries a prognosis of five years. My cancer first presented itself through acute kidney failure. So, in January, 2008, I not only started chemotherapy to try and control my cancer, but also began dialysis due to my kidney problems (end-stage renal failure).

At first this was extremely overwhelming! I had only retired five years earlier from policing at age 50 and had many plans including visiting our adult children spread across five states. I chose early retirement because my husband, David Couper, who had retired from the Madison Police Department five years earlier, was older than I was and I wanted to be able to spend more time with him. Dialysis, however, complicated everything – or so I thought.

My HMO would only pay for my treatments at the Wisconsin Dialysis Center so it was not feasible for us to consider doing any out-state travel. I was devastated because I knew our children had limited time to get away from their jobs and busy lives. Six months into our thrice-weekly clinic dialysis schedule we were presented with an alternative – home hemodialysis. It would require training, but would permit us to travel. For the past three years we have gone to Florida two weeks during the winter season. Home dialysis permitted us to continue to have a winter vacation in a sunny and warm place. So, two years ago, we purchased a slide-in camper for our pickup truck and drove to Glacier Park, hiked, camped, and dialyzed in, perhaps, some of the most beautiful mountain settings! This year we have two more road trips – house boating on the Mississippi with kids and grandkids and, in the fall, going to Branson, Missouri.

All of this, however, has not been smooth sailing! It took three failed fistulas before we were able to button hole and get rid of the tunnel catheter in my chest. I was fortunate enough to be able to receive a stem cell transplant in the Spring of 2009. This put my cancer under control for a while and I was working toward getting on the kidney transplant list and possible transplant if my cancer behaved itself for 24 months. I didn’t and it returned. I was back on chemotherapy and, again, devastated. I gave myself twenty-four hours to cry, feel sorry for myself, and used word I hadn’t used since our children arrived!

Back on chemotherapy and dialysis, I refused to waste any more of my precious time in such a wasteful, unconstructive way. My husband, David, gave me a great insight recently. He questioned, when something terrible happens to us, how do we know it’s not a blessing? With my original cancer diagnosis, I first assumed it was a disaster. But now looking back at the past 3-1/2 years, I know it was really a blessing. He and I have spent more time together, we choose our travel carefully and deliberately, we both take much better care of our bodies (daily exercise, eating healthy, and regular check-ups) as well as improving our minds and cultivating our spirits. He would have continued full-time work in ministry and I would have continued my part-time work at Lands’ End. This would have resulted in us seeing each other after work (usually tired and drained) or on weekends (doing yard work and other domestic chores). Why? Because we all assume there will be more time to do things together (even to work on our relationship) in the future. We all know that a slower day will never come. All we really have is now.

Each of us has a responsibility to live our lives fully and celebrate our life every day.

Health and happiness,

Sabine

A Time of Rest

2011-06-18T13:24:00.000-05:00

The cancer "numbers" are now within standard range and so Dr Sheehan has decided to suspend the chemotherapy for 12 weeks and has given Sabine a chemical-free summer! There will be a mid-term blood chemistry check at six weeks to see how things are progressing (or, hopefully, NOT progressing).

Our prayer is that the cancer remains "restrained" from growth and God guide the hands, hearts and minds of those doing research in Multiple Myeloma seeking a cure.

We know at this time that this cancer is not "cureable," but hopefully "manageable."

Life is still good. Love trumps!

Numbers!

2011-06-11T12:23:00.001-05:00

After about seven Revlimid cycles of chemotherapy, Sabine's "lambda light chains" are just in standard range (26.3) [standard range: 5.7-26.3].

My prediction would be that Dr Sheehan will go ahead and give her a "rest" from the chemotherapy and see what the cancer does. Sort of a "wait and see."

Sabine gets pretty tired by the end of the chemo cycle, but continues to exercise six days a week. Hemoglobin and platelets are down but not to the point of danger.

We have a busy summer ahead. This weekend hosting 20+ Coupers and Lobtiz's... and then there is the big Couper family reunion in August.

We continue to serve at St Peter's in North Lake.

Life is good.

Thanks be to God!

Spring has FINALLY arrived!

2011-05-12T12:24:00.000-05:00

This has been a cold and dreary spring until this week. Eighty degrees and sun! Our old bones are moving again as we hike the trails, do yard work, and bring out the lawn furniture and get the pool ready.

Sabine has been tired (but she is not slowing down!) with this chemo regimen. We are taking blood this week in anticipation of our meet with Dr Sheehan next week. We are hoping and praying that those nasty proteins are being diminished and that Sabine's blood chemistry withstands the chemical assault. It's a balance between killing off the cancer and preserving her blood chemistry.

All in all, things are stable. Life (so far) is good!

Here are some spring pics:

Napping poolside in the screen house with our trusty companion, Mocha

Dinner and a night in Chicago

Spring has come to New Journey Farm, flowers and our creek in the background.

Trying to get it right

2011-04-26T10:47:00.000-05:00

Dialysis. Sounds simple, right? Just hook up and away you go!

I wish it was that simple and easy. Sometimes the body does not want to do what the operator (me) is intending to do.

On each of our five days of dialysis each week I must place two needles (arterial and venous connections) into Sabine's arm to begin the dialysis. I cannot hook her up to the hemodialysis machine and start the run unless those two "connections" are made. And that "connecting" means putting a needle into her arm squarely into the vein, getting a "flash" back indicating it's "in;" flushing the needle and plastic tube and then connecting the machine (artificial kidney) to the tube in order to being the process.

Now even if all this looks good (connected, a flash, and flushed) if the pressures are too high we might have to reposition the needles, start at a slower speed (and longer process) and constantly re-evaluate the procedure based on machine pressures.

The connection goal is to place a "blunt" needle into something called a "buttonhole" in Sabine's arm. The buttonhole is made by inserting a sharp needle for a number of weeks into the same site and same angle each time -- thereby creating a "buttonhole" which can be accessed by a blunt needle through the same "hole" (which, obviously, is a better method than using a sharp needle at a different site on her arm each day!).

But of course, the body is not like working on a car engine. Machines are predictable and usually if you have to connect a hose to a machine it's fairly simple; that it, the site nor the angles don't change from day to day.

We have been struggling with connections this past week. The week before everything went "textbook." When problems start to happen, we either have to make the connection with a sharp needle in the buttonhole (something we want to try and avoid) or discontinue the treatment cycle.

When this occurs, it causes a lot of tension (and frustration) on my part. Why can't I get this to work? What's wrong with me -- or my technique?

Sabine seems to do much better than me in these situation. She is always calm and re-assures me that her body is simply not cooperating today and it's not me or my technique. Still, I feel bad when all this doesn't work. Sometimes I have to call the clinic in Madison for reassurance and we go through my actions and talk about "options" like discontinue for today, use a sharp, or (worst yet) come on down to the clinic and they will give it a try. Thankfully, we haven't had to do the clinic option for some time!

So, that's our life as patient and practitioner. Most of the time dialysis goes like a whiz. But on days like this, when things don't go right, when I simply cannot get the needles into the "fistula" and have to try again and again and then resort to a "sharp," I feel the pressure (and it's not from Sabine, it's the pressure I put on myself and the frustration I feel).

What's the spiritual lesson? I know. It's being calm. Accepting what is. And being grateful for the fact she is still here with me and I am still able to hold her and love her!

So what am I complaining about again? Life is good.

Peace. Spring is coming -- I see Robins, wet and cold Robins!

Soon we will all dry out.

The Chart

2011-04-18T10:08:00.001-05:00

The "Numbers"

We see Dr Sheehan this coming Wednesday. And since I usually get the lab results before we see him I have started making a chart of the cancer numbers as a "visual cancer aid." This way I can see better what is going on.

So, this month is a good return (#59). Another depression in the cancer numbers (the amount of "free lambda light chains; those nasty proteins that have clogged up Sabine's kidneys and messed up her blood)!

To the left of the chart is the time after her stem cell transplant; then a climbing of the numbers to #133 and then the oral chemotherapy (Revlimid + Dexamethasone).

I think what is going on here is that Sabine needs to take enough of the chemo to repress the cancer but not so much as will destroy her blood chemistry. For example, her hemoglobin is around 10 (normally 14 or so) and her platelets around 100 (normally 150+).

Meanwhile, Sabine keeps up her joyful spirit and exercises daily! Life is still good!

And Resurrection Sunday is on the horizon -- and it is both a faith and life event for the two of us!

Energizer Bunny

2011-04-12T13:16:00.000-05:00

That's us, spring camping in the Rockies -- circa 198os

Sabine was born on Easter Sunday and her family often called her "Bunny" in German (Haase?). So I have often thought of her over these cancer years as begining the Energizer Bunny of the battery commercials! We celebrated our birthday last week (yes, we both were born on April 5 but in different years) and every birthday with cancer is a good birthday.

Sabine has been on chemotherapy with the oral drug, Revlimid, since November and it has steadily repressed the cancer and still is. Something to be greatly thankful! (And on top of all that she continues to exercize each day and teach Sunday School!)

So we had a good birthday week with lots of contact from friends and family.

We drew blood for tests this week and will be seeing Dr Sheehan next week for the results.

Summer is coming... and Sabine is looking forward to spending time on the farm and for another Couper family reunion which this summer will be houseboating on the Mississippi River! Anchors aweigh!

Home Dialysis

2011-04-01T09:44:00.001-05:00

5 of 7
days
a week
260 out of
365
the time
we jokingly call
“blood washing”
the machine
the supplies
the cartridge
that
2 by
11 inch
round
life-saver
out with
the bad
& in with
the good stuff
redder than red
cleaner than clean
60 plus
liters
like lovemaking
we do it
at home
hotel
cabin
riverside
or camper
these days
that
keep you
going yes
alive
each day
we set up
tape needles syringes
gauze, swabs, pads
masks, gloves
bags
charts
& picks
then
to find those
pesky
veins
those pokes
(most of the
time a buttonhole
bullseye)
alas
when
not
soon off we go
three hours of
pumping
& cleaning
from the magic
machine
& us
waiting
in-between
time
then
miraculously
it’s
up on your feet
out the door
seeking
our life
suspended
for a time
free
free at last
& yes thank God
almighty
free until
tomorrow.

March Update

2011-03-14T09:59:00.000-05:00

I know many of you look for updates on Sabine's cancer fight (and you know that for the most part, NO news is GOOD news)! So, my "quietness" has been because Sabine's increased chem has been going along pretty well. Yes, she is tired, but she still gets her exercise in every morning!

We recently got her "labs" back and the "numbers" were reduced (last month they were 100 and now with the increased dosage of Revlimid they fell to 75). We meet with Dr Sheehan on Wednesday and we expect that he will be happy with the treatment results. However, Sabine's hemoglobin and platelets have also dropped (hence the tiredness associated with this chemo) and I am sure Dr Sheehan will have us continue to monitor her blood work (which otherwise looks pretty good).

We both are anxiously awaiting the warm winds of Spring! It's been a long winter!

Gratefully, I remain.

Visiting Hospice

2011-03-04T10:19:00.000-06:00

First of all, the medical report: good. Sabine is more tired but tolerating the increase chemo dosage. We check the "numbers" again in a couple of weeks and see how the cancer is responding. Otherwise, we both anxiously await the tide of spring!

Now for more:

A dear friend from one of our support groups checked into the hospice center last week. They called us to tell us about the progress of the cancer and what had happened. You know, it's so easy and comfortable to live in your head. Oh, the hospice center that I had heard so much about but never had anyone I knew in it. A good time to visit, to see her and her husband and to check the place out... all rational "head stuff."

But once there, that old question from clinical pastoral training came into my mind as Sabine and I opened the front door. "What's this like? What's the feelings?

Sabine and I had errands to do so we arrived and left in two separate cars. I sat for some time in my car pondering these questions and writing the following poem...

a call to visit
a friend in hospice on
a wintery day
routine
that's what i do
(or so i thought)
and then
a gnawing
dread
appears and takes
control
"i must leave" you
say
and i
caught
feeling stupid
to ever think this
was less
than
it was
and what i thought
would be
just another
medical visit
becomes to each of
us
that day
the day in which
we, too,
will open these
large wooden
doors
enter together
but only
one of
us
would
leave.

Update, February 2011

2011-02-28T10:32:00.001-06:00

The old adage still prevails: "No news is good news!"

Thus, my silence...

Since our last post, Sabine has had to increase her Revlimid dosage from 10 to 15 mg. in order to try and arrest the growing blood cancer.

So far, so good. She is experiencing more tiredness, but is still her usually "bubbly" self and still into daily excercise (we just did a 5 mile walk up two major hills with our trusty canine companion, Mocha!).

We go back and see Dr Sheehan in a couple of weeks and take a look what Sabine's blood work reveals.

We had a great time in Florida and our anxiously awaiting the warm breezes of spring!

Peace.

A Valentine to a Cancer Patient

2011-02-17T10:55:00.001-06:00

i started to
write direct
prose
for this day
of hearts
i found the words
not quite
so
i go to my preferred
broken verse
as these words
unfold
they become
(to me)
both whole and
holy
thoughts of these
years together
of
the cancer time
which to
some
would be the
unraveling
the distancing
but to me
these are the special
years
the bonding time
cementing a love
which I thought
could never be
more stronger
its become
a love
so deep
so marvelous
nothing
no tragedy
no loss
no grief
no cancer
can erode
can fracture
this bond between
us
ever.

Avoiding Snow / Recharging engines!

2011-02-10T09:43:00.003-06:00

Usually, we love our Wisconsin winters -- snowshoeing and skiing. But each winter Sabine loves to "go south." And that means Florida for us. So what does Sabine do when she comes to Florida?

She visits and plays with family.
She dances.
She takes long beach walks.
She eats.
She works out at the gym.
She goes to a performance .
She gets a massage.

Getting it on at the Cafe Tu Tu Tango in Orlando.

Hikin' the beach!

Moving those muscles at the gym.

A patio massage with the seabreeze and surf in the background.

The fabulous "Flamenco Express" danced at the Lyric Theater in nearby Stuart.

Lunch at the marina at Fort Pierce.

The Isaac Byrd, Jr. Jazz Band at Stuart's Riverwalk.

Breakfast on St Pete's beach.

Grand daughter and great-grand kids!

BUT MOST AND BEST OF ALL...

BOTH OF US COME HOME RESTED AND PREPARED TO CONTINUE THE CANCER FIGHT!

On the Road Again (with our trusty dialysis machine!)

2011-02-05T06:07:00.000-06:00

There is something liberating and peaceful about our vacation time. I was really looking forward to our trip to Florida. My expectations were certainly met with our visits to new family members (the Gowers) and reconnecting with daughters Catherine and Jennifer and their families in nearby St Petersburg.

Of course, Sabine loves vacations! She always has. And the chemotherapy seems to be going well (we will check the numbers again when we return). I also can report that the on-the-road hemo dialysis has been going well and I have been able to make the vein connections without complications (thanks be to God!).

Just before we left Orlando and headed off to the beach on the east coast (Hutchinson Island) the dialysis machine failed. Not completely, but started to give us some worrying signals the last hour of treatment. We made it through and called our dialysis nurses in Madison and then the manufacturer of the machine -- NextStage on the east coast. (Yes, they had just been snowed in with a tremendous blizzard).

We took the next day off (Friday) and drove to Hutchinson Beach where NextStage said they would deliver a NEW machine after 5 pm. We arrived at the condo, unpacked, and soon had a call from the desk that our machine had arrived from the airport in Miami. Magic!

So we have a new machine for this morning's treatment as we spend our last week on the beach. The weather has been great (up to 80 degrees yesterday) and plenty of sunshine. Just what Sabine needs!

Here's a few pics!

Sabine and friends at the Cafe Tu Tu Tango in Orlando

On St Petersburg Beach

Bowling with kids and grandkids at the Ten Pin Lanes

Fresh grouper at the marina in Fort Pierce

The view from our condo on Hutchinson Island near Jensen Beach

Florida

2011-01-28T11:56:00.002-06:00

[Coughing, wheezing, sniffling, hacking] "Well, we just might as well be sick in warm Florida than in freezing Wisconsin!" So we headed south, drove 800 miles before we saw grass and even though we scraped our windows in Lake City, we were in Florida and it had to get warmer.

I was worried that Sabine's cough could be related to her cancer -- so, when I finally caught a cold, I was relieved... Such is the nature of a caregiver/battle buddy.

Here's some pics from our stop at my granddaughter Nikki and four GREAT grandkids in southern Illinois and at our timeshare in Orlando near Disney World.

(Oh, yes, our colds have seem to disappear with the frost...]

Good To Go!

2011-01-20T10:44:00.000-06:00

Sabine likes to get up for her cancer doc! And with sub-zero weather all around us, why not think SOUTH -- sort of a mid-winter luau at the cancer clinic! (NO, we don't dress up like this in the main lobby! We change after we get into Dr Sheehan's office and before he comes in!).

So here we are. Dr Sheehan gets to pick whether we get to go south for a couple of weeks vacation:
GOOD TO GO or NO GO!

Guess which on he picked?

Worries

2011-01-17T12:03:00.000-06:00

We meet with Dr Sheehan next week just before our vacation; our “run to the south.” I am worried. We got the blood test “numbers” back today and they had, again, increased. And this is despite the chemotherapy intervention. One side of me (the rational one) wants to look at the increase as being statistically insignificant – an increase, yes, but not a big one. Then there is the cough…

We are monitoring a strange cough that Sabine has. We have discussed it with at the clinic and we are watching and seeing whether or not another chest x-ray is warranted. No temp, no tell-tale mucus signs, but a persistent cough. I am watchful for pneumonia that stalks many multiple myeloma patients.

The other side of me says, “whoa!” We’re not going anywhere until the cough gets under control. And I don’t like an increase in any of the cancer markers – even those deemed “statistically insignificant.” I hunker down. I internally shout, “Circle the wagons,” and diligently watch for any kind of trouble.

This is really the “ups and downs” of cancer. You got it. You get it under control. You watch. You wait. And then you’re back in the fight again.

Stay tuned until Wednesday when we have our scheduled appointment with Dr Sheehan.

P.S. For those of you who are number-watchers the free lambda light chains have gone from 19 in Nov., 2009 six months after the stem-cell transplant and this was still holding into last May. Then last August the numbers jumped to 42, September was 64, and 133 in November when we started the Revlimid/Dexamethasone intervention. Within 4 weeks it has reduced the numbers to 71. Now, in her second 28-day cycle of chemo the numbers have now increased to 106 (which was the lowest Sabine got in her initial Velcade chemotherapy.

Winter Colds

2011-01-13T11:16:00.000-06:00

So far, the chemotherapy has been going well. But I have to remember that Sabine's immune system is depressed while this is going one -- and that means to BEWARE of viruses and other bugs. She has been struggling with her second cold this season and this gets me on edge. I suspect it is her immune system because I have caught none of these bugs (and in the past, if one of us had a cold the other would soon follow). It is now primarily a night-time cough, but thankfully no temperature spiking. So we are on watch. Still planning and running south in a couple of weeks after we consult with Dr Sheehan. Otherwise, live is good and we are grateful!

Update 2011

2011-01-08T13:07:00.001-06:00

It's been a while since I have posted. As you know, "no news is good news!" (At least in my blogging life). Dialysis has gone well for us and we are encouraged by Sabine's reponse to the chemotherapy. It is deep and cold winter here in Wisconsin and we now are looking south for our annual "run to the sun" for a few weeks to thaw out and help us get through the rest of our winter.

We take blood for the cancer test on Monday and then see Dr Sheehan again on the 19th -- just before we head south (that is if all goes well!).

Christmas is now past -- the Feast of the Epiphany was on Thursday and that means the days are getting longer and the light shines out more powerfully (linking Christian theology with the natural world!).

Sabine and I wish you all a blessed New Year. We are anticipating an great new year in 2011 -- we hope you will join us as a people of hope!

Progess into the New Year

2010-12-24T13:16:00.000-06:00

We have been waiting for Sabine's lab results to come in. They did not make it in time for her meeting with Dr Sheehan this week. Nevertheless, Dr Sheehan wanted to continue with Sabine's current treatment protocol of Revlimid and Dexamethasone.

But today, Christmas Eve, the data came in and it show that her "cancer numbers" have not only been held in check, but in fact have been repressed. This is good news and we enter the Christmas season with more comfort knowing that the current chemotherapy she is on seems to be working and that the side effects of the drugs have been minimal.

Christmas blessings to all of you.

Live each day as if it were our last...

Third Week of Chemotherapy

2010-12-13T11:50:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow we begin our third week of the Revlimid/Dexamethasone chemotherapy. So far, so good. Sabine has been a little tired but continues her daily exercise. We are having blood draws every two weeks to check her blood chemistry and we meet with Dr Sheehan next Wednesday (just before Christmas)!

This weekend has been especially busy for us as we had two of our beautiful granddaughters (and one of their mothers) as house guests. It was for the scheduled spreading of Matt's ashes on Restoration Point. Healing continues.

Chemo -- Week Two

2010-12-07T11:00:00.000-06:00

Thankfully, I don't have much to report on the new chemotherapy with Revlimid and Dexamethasone. Sabine seems to be tolerating it well and aside from being a little tired (she still exercises daily!) she is doing quite well in my opinion.

We took blood for testing yesterday and how her blood chemistry reacts is going to be the important factor here. Dr Sheehan will get the info and we have an appointment with him just before Christmas.

I know you all are pulling for her and sending up those good prayers (or "positive intentions") and I can tell you that such care, thoughts, and actions are powerful and make a difference in her life.

Blessings to all as we approach Christmastide.

Starting Chemotherapy

2010-11-30T12:08:00.000-06:00

Now that all the kids and family members are back home and out joint Thanksgiving-Christmas celebration has ended, Sabine will begin oral chemotherapy today which is a combination of daily Revlimid (10 mg) and weekly dexamethasone (40 mg) .

This will put me on alert this week watching for side-effects and any other problems.

We would ask for your prayers that Sabine can not only tolerate this therapy, but that it would be successful!

A Good Article on Sabine's Cancer

2010-11-27T17:08:00.000-06:00

A good article on multiple myeloma:

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2010/11/24/2010-11-24_multiple_myeloma__a_lesser_known_cancer_poses_challenges_in_diagnosis_and_treatm.html

Chemotherapy Begins Again

2010-11-25T16:29:00.003-06:00

Let me begin by wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Despite battling cancer, we have much to be thankful!

In Dr Sheehan's office with an early Christmas celebration!

Now onto the news: For twelve weeks now we have been watching the cancer numbers slowly rise. We met with Dr Sheehan yesterday and we decided the best course of action now was to launch another offensive against the cancer.

So, starting next week, Sabine will begin to take an oral chemotherapy regimen of Revlimid and Dexamethasone. We will do blood work in two weeks to check for negative effects on her blood chemistry and report back to Dr Sheehan two weeks after this.

While this is a setback, we are thankful that we have a number of "arrows" in our quiver to fight cancer. Thankfully, Revilmid is one of them. And we even have a few more if Sabine's cancer becomes resistant to Revilmid.

I will be watching out for any negative physical side effects as we go forward.

Yesterday, we held our family Thanksgiving-Christmas celebration which was originally schedule to coincide with daughter Yumi's leave from Afghanistan. But due to Matt's death, she had to come home early and missed today's celebration. But we all held her in our thoughts and prayers as we came together around the family table and gave thanks for the love and restoration we have all experienced this year!

The Numbers!

2010-11-19T11:23:00.000-06:00

We just received Sabine's "cancer numbers" this morning: Free Lambda Light Chains -- 133 mg/L). While the numbers are increasing, they aren't exploding. Twelve weeks ago we spotted the increase in our periodic blood tests. Since that time, they have slowly been increasing and are now at the point Sabine was AFTER her first two rounds of chemotherapy. We see our oncologist next Wednesday and will probably continue the "watching" or perhaps have to go on some form of chemotherapy. We will see. In the meantime, the rest of Sabine's blood work looks great and she continues her usual upbeat attitude and daily exercise. As I told the folks at the cancer forum we attended this past summer, "Living with Mary Poppins is a real challenge for caregivers!"

So far, so good. And, yes, life is still good!

Thanks be to God!

On Alert

2010-11-12T11:00:00.000-06:00

In a couple of weeks, just before Thanksgiving, we return to Dr Sheehan for another checkup. It has been 6 weeks since the last time we saw him. As many of you will remember, earlier this summer the cancer returned with heightened "numbers." Six weeks ago the increase was happening, but not rapidly. Soon we will find out what our next step is? Chemotherapy? Or more "watching and waiting" for another 6 weeks?

For the past four weeks we have been monitoring a persistent cough that Sabine has acquired. On Monday she went in to urgent care and had an xray taken. The doc thought he heard something in her lungs and ordered an xray. Doxycycline (an antibiotic) was prescribed. At first they thought the xray was clear, then called us back because of something suspicious. Sabine's primary car doc then scheduled another xray at the end of this month. Waiting.

Of course the question we have is whether or not this lung thing is a result of the cancer or is it something else? Sabine continues regular exercise and seems her old perky self. That's good.

But caregivers like me watch their loved ones like a hawk. Not wanting to frighten them but being careful and watchful. We have seen too many in our cancer support group deteriorate and deteriorate quickly. I am not alarmed. But I remain on alert!

Fighting Blood Cancers

2010-10-29T10:46:00.000-05:00

Our seven-year-old granddaughter, Gracie Couper (Matt's daughter)

is raising money through the Leukemia - Lymphona Society to fight blood cancer's like Sabine's. Here is a letter from her mother, Heather:

"Hi everyone!

"Gracie and I are raising money for a very important cause, through The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's 'Light The Night Walk:' finding better treatments and cures for blood cancers so patients can live better, longer lives.

"We have joined team 'Havianna's Hero' again and are excited to be walking with Havianna this year on November 5th. She will be one of the survivors caring a white ballon.

"I'm asking you to help by making a tax-deductible contribution! Please use the link in this email to donate online quickly & securely. You will receive an email confirmation of your donation as soon as it is made. I thank you in advance for your support which will make a difference in the lives of thousands of patients battling blood cancers.

"I really appreciate your generosity!!
http://pages.lightthenight.org/sd/SanDiego10/GCouper

"Thank you, Gracie and Heather."

Charlotte

2010-10-09T08:57:00.000-05:00

Oh, oh... forgot to tell you that Charlotte was hit by a car while crossing an intersection in Mt Horeb and is okay. Sorry!

Charlotte was conveyed to Meriter Hospital, checked out, and then released the same day with a full leg cast. Yesterday, she went to in to see her physician and was informed she had a broken tibia. No weight on her leg for six weeks! (in the midst of all this we have about thirty family members on sight for my son Matt's memorial service!).

Could have been worse... an 86 year old woman is hit by an automobile and only breaks a leg! If am afraid that two deaths in one week would have been even too much for Sabine!

What a Trooper!

2010-10-07T14:29:00.000-05:00

Not only Sabine fighting a most viscious cancer, she is also able to come alongside and minister to her grieving husband -- me! Last week my son, Matthew, died unexpectedly and tragically. You can read all about it at my "spirituality blog" at http://christinyouchristinme.blogspot.com.

But what you don't get by reading the blog is that this has been a tremendous loss and struggle for Sabine. Although she is the (and I hate the word) Matt's "step-mother," she has been a big part of his life.

The good news just before I left for California to make "arrangements," we received a 6-week report on her "cancer numbers." While they have increased, the rate seems to be pretty slow. And Dr Sheehan so far doesn't want to see us for another 6 weeks. Good news! But Matt's death has been difficutl for all of us.

And while I was away for the past 6 days, Sabine's dialysis at the clinic was very difficult for her. This morning (thanks be to God!) I made all the connections (sticks) with one attempt and the treatment went well.... almost... as we were in treatment we got a call from a friend in Mt. Horeb that Sabine's mother, Charlotte, had been in an auto accident and was being conveyed to Meriter Hospital in Madison! One of my best friends is a resident chaplain at Meriter and he was able to meet Sabine's mom in the emergency room. (Interestingly, he is also going to officiate at our son's memorial service this Saturday).

As my friend relayed us the information on Charlotte, he concluded by saying, "You know being in relationship with you, David, is quite stressful!" If Sabine was there I would imagine she would agree!

Weekend Get-away!

2010-09-27T11:14:00.001-05:00

I think a big part of the caregiving and cancer-fighting business is to take a break whenever you can. We have always loved weekend getaways (fondly remembering them in the b.k. days [before kids!]).

This past weekend we attended Sabine's 35th college reunion at Gustavus Adolphus College in St Peter, MN. (Actually it is part of my history, too. My first semester at college before I got antsy and joined the Marines was at Gustavus.)

Grrrrrreat!

Gusties lost a close one to the Norwegians from Northfield.

Go!, GUSTIES! (Sabine spent 4 years at Gustavus and never attended a football game. This is her first!

Sabine's 35th Class Reunion Homecoming!

Sabine with her first Gustavus shirt.

Great to see the social justice is still an active collegiate pursuit

The King and Queen!

We stayed at the Locust Street B&B, attended the Gustavus-St Olaf homecoming football game, met the Homecoming Queen (who was staying at the B&B, took a class picture on the steps of "Old Main," and attended a performance that evening by comedian Scott Novotny (who wrote for Saturday Night Live in the 70s and was a fellow theater major with Sabine) and then woke up on Sunday morning, attended Church of the Holy Communion (Episcopal) and then tried to get home after finding numerous road closings due to the flooding in southeast Minnesota. But we finally made it home just in time to attend the American Players Theater's stunning performance in Spring Green of South African playwright Athol Fugard's "Exits and Entrances." Whew! A great weekend. Today (Monday) Sabine gets blood drawn for her appointment with Dr Sheehan next week. We will then see where the cancer is going (hopefully and prayerfully it hit a dead end!). Dialysis went well today (bulls eyes on both "sticks!"). Life is good!

Scott just loves crowd comedians!

Add the B&B with Scott Novotny's crazy glasses.

Quite the Week

2010-09-22T10:53:00.000-05:00

Sabine's fistula-gram on Monday had some good results. According to the docs, the fistula looks good and there are no blockages visible -- and the stint that was put in a while back is firmly in place. So what happened last week?

Nevertheless, the cannulations (needle-sticks) went well in our new arterial site and the old venous buttonhole is now working! Go figure.

So the week has gone well until this morning when we were encountering some high arterial pressures. The procedure is to adjust the needle, raising it, doing some half-twists... still high pressure. When I was adjusting the needle it inadvertently came out! Now that's excitement, spurting blood, a loose sharp needle and the dialysis machine screaming alarms. We got the bleeding stopped but could not get the machine running again because it picked up too much air in the system. So it's "shut down" time. Bagging the cartridge in a bio-waste bag and consulting with our nursing staff in Madison.

Sabine has an acupuncture appointment early this afternoon so we will put off another dialysis try until she returns. And as for the cancer, still watching and waiting. An exciting day for the retired -- too exciting!

"Houston, we've got a problem..."

2010-09-15T15:15:00.001-05:00

It's been a tough two days! One of those "just went you thought it was safe to go back in the water" days.

After months of relatively easy dialysis connections and treatment, it all fell apart. Suddenly, I was not able to make the "cannulations" and we had to abandon the "blunt" needles and go to the "sharps."

This meant that I had to start two new puncture sights above the old ones. Not an easy task via telephone. But we did it and things went fairly well.

Then we encountered high arterial and venous pressures and had to abort the treatment. The second time it happened we ended up going to Madison and getting some help from the staff at our dialysis center.

Even there they had trouble getting a venous connection (it made me feel a little bit better that it wasn't me as I saw the professionals struggle!). Finally we were able to make the insertion and begin the treatment with the home dialysis machine in the center. But even there our troubles were not over and we had to terminate early when a perforation occurred.

So what's going on? Problems with the fisula again? Most likely. We are being scheduled for a fistula gram at the UW Hospital to check for a blockage or other problems in the area. And this morning, at home, I was able to use the new arterial site with a sharp needel and then use a sharp in the old buttonhole when the blunt needle didn't work. Then the connections were make and we had a good "run."

These are the times that being a "marriage team" works! We solve problems and take necessary action without bickering or yelling at one another. At the same time, while I feel the stress of all this, it's not my arm that is getting the multiple needle sticks! Sabine (again) has been a real trouper (but that's one of the reasons I love her so much, she's always been a great trouper!).

What's ahead? We will have some hurdles to jump over in the next weeks and some problems to solve -- another in-patient hospital visist to look at the fistula, possible some intervention to clear the blockage, consultations, and then we will begin to work on creating two new alternate needle/cannulation sites and, hopefully, can reclaim those two blocked "buttonholes."

In the meantime, we are "watching and waiting" with regard to the cancer. We would ask you to continue to pray for Sabine's healing and calm resolve as we wait for the six-week blood test that will determine how those nasty cancer cells are doing -- I pray they are having a tough time and will soon give up!

Thus ends our battlefield report!

Run, Sabine, Run!

2010-09-12T16:05:00.000-05:00

Not letting a little cancer flare up crimp her style, Sabine takes first place in her age category at the 2-mile "Dylan's Run" on Lakeside Park in Milwaukee! Go, girl!! (I had to work while Sabine and other members of St Peter's support autism research!)

A Sadness Realized

2010-09-07T13:49:00.000-05:00

It is sometimes difficult to understand the emotional roller-coaster cancer victims and their loved ones experience. Sabine was visibly upset when she heard that our friend, Dennis, from our cancer support group had taken ill last week. We had known Dennis for over two years now. Yesteday, we heard he had died. This morning, his obituary was in the Madison newspaper.

Dennis was one of the more healthier persons in our group. To see him suddenly and rapidly go downhill was unsettling to both of us. Sabine and I were at supper in Middleton when I told her about the email I received concerning Dennis' death. For both of us it was another wake-up call. Things change in this cancer game and they can change quickly. Only a few weeks earlier, we were planning on attending a summer evening concert with Dennis and his wife in nearby Mt Horeb.

I am writing this because I know that the journey most cancer patients and their loved ones are on will not have a happy ending. I want this life we have together to go on. I want to hear Sabine say again and again like she did this weekend: "This has been my best summer ever!"

I tossed and turned in bed last night thinking of Dennis' wife and children. How fleeting this life is. How important it is to fully live and celebrate each day -- one day that day may be the last day we will have together. This is the thought that remains hidden in my psyche; that the most terrible event in my life awaits me. God give me strength.

Our hearts and prayers go out to Jane and her family. May Dennis' soul rest in peace.

Watching and Waiting

2010-08-26T08:06:00.000-05:00

We met with Dr Sheehan yesterday at University Hospital and discussed the lab tests. Yes, it looks like something is going on with the cancer. But Dr Sheehan suggested that given the increase in Sabine's "numbers" being rather minimal from what it once was, we should "watch and wait.

So, our attack now is to do exactly that. We will take the light chain test (our cancer "marker") in six weeks and see what is going. If the increase is slight, we will wait six more weeks and then meet with Dr Sheehan to formulate a strategy if the increase continues.

Right now, Dr Sheehan is not keen on a second stem cell transplant. He feels we have a number of chemotherapies that can be used to keep the cancer in check before we think about another transplant.

While Sunday was "crash-day" for both of us, we have recovered and Sabine is back to being her bubbling, positive self (and, therefore, so am I!).

She wore her "half-full" t-shirt into her consultation with Dr Sheehan and was also wearing some wildly decorated "flip-flop" shoes Helen Ackley (from our congregation in North Lake) had made for her.

In the meantime, "celebrate life every day!" A good motto for all of us -- whether we are fighing cancer or not!

Tick, tock, tick, tock TICK!

2010-08-22T16:23:00.002-05:00

I always feel a bit anxious before Sabine's visit to her oncologist. I think I have described it as hearing the tick-tock of a clock (is it a time bomb?) Last week, Sabine took the customary blood tests in preparation for her meeting with her oncologist, Dr Sheehan, this coming Wednesday. All but one of the blood tests had come back and in my layman's opinion, all looked good and within "normal" ranges. But one was missing.

It was the primary cancer test -- the test that would tell us if Sabine's cancer was still in check (since the stem cell transplant a year ago), or not. It is called the serum light chain test. Usually, we get the test back from the lab in California about the same time we get the other locally-tested blood work.

So we checked and checked last week and nothing appeared on Sabine's test results chart. We checked with the local lab who said that it should be coming back any time now. I have to admit that I wasn't too worried about the results because I would have bet the "numbers" would be okay. After all, Sabine had plenty of energy these past six weeks and we (except for dialysis five times a week) were living a pretty normal life, running, biking, and kayaking with a lot of other activity including a weeklong visit from numerous family members!

But last night we stopped by to visit some friends of ours who are also members of our cancer support group. We missed last week's meeting because of the family gathering and now they were giving us an update -- and it wasn't good. A man we had gotten to know quite well from our group suddenly was in palliative care -- his cancer had come back with a vengeance. He had plunged downward rather rapidly after his second stem cell transplant. I could see that Sabine was very upset when she heard about what had happened to him. Last year alone, we lost two members of our support group to the cancer each one of us battles. Each death is shaking reminder of this untreatable cancer!

This morning, on the way to lead worship in North Lake, I casually checked my email messages. There was a notification from Sabine's physician that she checked on the lab test and was sure it would arrive by the time we saw Dr Sheehan. But there also was another message -- "new test results." I pulled the car over and went to the website of Sabine's healthcare provider and pulled up the new test results. It wasn't what I had expected -- the numbers had doubled and were now out of the normal range!

It was a "kick in the stomach" for both of us.  But what does it mean? The cancer was now growing again, but how much? Is this significnant? What's next for us? Well, right now we don't know and we must wait in this interim period until we consult with Dr Sheehan. But we had watched these numbers double before when Sabine went through her last chemotherapy.

I could see that Sabine needed to process this downturn. She asked for some time alone and urged me to continue to North Lake and lead the worship service. I was shaken, but felt I could carry on. I prayed all the way.

When I got to church, our friends noticed Sabine was not with me. "Is everything okay?" they asked. The grief started to well up again. This was too much like when I first heard "you've got cancer!"

I had two choices here. I could "suck it up" -- "the play's the thing!" -- and be a good Thespian. Or, I could share this grief with my small congregation. What would I want if I was sitting in the pew? What would I expect from my pastor -- to tough it out, not to share his life when he had preached so much about being real and developing an authentic Christ-like community?

I don't enjoy sharing my grief in public. I dislke public crying even more. I still think of myself as a "tough guy." But this was my community, these were my friends who had supported me and Sabine these past three years of cancer. I decided I owed it to them to be authentic. "Tough guy" wouldn't cut it. I decided to share my grief and sadness.

After the gospel reading about a woman who was healed by Jesus, I stood up and read two verses of the psalm we just read (Psalm 71:17-18):

Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.

I was then planning on making an announcement concerning the lab test results  -- but I could not. I became chocked up and could not speak.  So I sat down and asked my friend, Andy, who was assisting me with worship, to tell what I had shared with him and his wife earlier.

Andy made the announcement and then offered a prayer from the Book of Common Prayer, "A Prayer for a Loved One." By that time I was able to collect myself and fill in more details and then we all prayed again for healing and strength for Sabine and each one of us. I recited the 23 Psalm... "lo, though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, you, God, are with me..."

The rest of the liturgy moved along until I moved to distribute communion to the congregation. As they person held out open hands to receive the sacrament, I noticed red-rimmed, loving eyes shining up at me -- bouying me and Sabine up on the journey ahead. I knew again why I was a Christian.

When I picked Sabine up she had just bought a new t-shirt and was wearing it and smiling. "I just needed some time" she said, "to think, pray, and pull myself together!"  Our prayers had worked! And Sabine was back to being her same positive, loving self. On the t-shirt? A cup with the inscription, "Half-Full!" (not half-empty!) I told her again how much I loved her and how we would, together, "press on!"

Some of the Couper Clan Assembles

2010-08-16T13:09:00.001-05:00

As we approach our 6-week "numbers-check" with Dr Sheehan, Sabine helps me organize an assembly of the Couper Clan at our farm in Blue Mounds. Here's a good share (but not all) of the nine children and eleven grandchildren!

Summertime and the Living is Easy...

2010-08-05T14:05:00.000-05:00

That tune has been playing in my head these last few weeks. But as Sabine and I enjoy the summertime, we know that we have some blood tests and visit to Dr Sheehan coming up this month.

I don't know if Sabine thinks like I do (I mean I don't think she has ever read this blog -- I guess she doesn't have to because she knows me so well after 30 years of living with me!). But, as I have shared with my caregiver support group at Gilda's House, I hear the clock. I hear it ticking in the background. After we get a clean "bill of health," and are walking out of Dr Sheehan's officer, I can barely hear it. But as the time arrives for the blood work and visit to check on how we are doing controlling this cancer, the "tick-tocking" is a loud background noise.

I appreciate the time our health care providers have given us. The stem-cell transplant seems to be a miracle in itself. And our home dialysis is time-together and satisfies my hidden desire to be a medical practitioner (perhaps in another life?).

Nevertheless, life is good. I am exceedingly thankful. And, in the meantime, let's keep dancin'!

Sabine in Milwaukee

2010-07-23T10:31:00.000-05:00

Sabine outside the theater and browsing around Milwaukee after enjoying "Wicked!"

Back on the water!

2010-07-14T11:17:00.001-05:00

After two summers of having to avoid water (the tunnel catheter in her neck), Sabine is back into water sports. Making hay while the sun shines, as she plans lots of summer kayaking adventures on our lakes and two great boating routes: The Wisconsin and Sugar Rivers!

Summer Report

2010-07-07T14:19:00.000-05:00

As I have always said during the writing of this blog -- "No news is good news!" So that's why it has been so long since I have posted here! It has been a summer of "good news!"

Sabine loves summer in southern Wisconsin and this summer is a great one! We have had visits from Sabine's high school friend, Shirley, visits from neices Teak, Meg and Kim and their families and another "relative" visit in August as a number of Coupers gather at New Journey Farm here in Blue Mounds.

We had a hospital "check" yesterday to look at the important fistula in Sabine's arm -- there was a slight blockage and Dr Chan "ballooned" it open. The fistulat looks good and has been functioning well. My competence as Chief Cannulator is increasing and our five day dialysis sessions each week is becoming almost routine.

We have season tickets for the American Players Theater in nearby Spring Green and recently attended a wonderful performance of the Bard's "All's Well That Ends Well." We continue our weekly support group meetings at Gilda's House in Madison. Sabine goes to the patient group and I attend the one for caregivers.

Our new screen house poolside has been in great use as we often take afternoon naps and have a glass of wine before dinner. Now that the tunnel catheter is gone and Sabine is able to engage in water activities again, she is eyeing the possibility of us becoming kayakers. We have the Wisconsin and Sugar rivers nearby which are both active kayak venues.

She has a check-in with her oncologist, Dr Sheehan, in August and we anticipate another postive report on Sabine's progress.

Here are a few scenes, so far, depicting our summer:

Post-Transplant Life

2010-06-17T10:47:00.000-05:00

Wow! It's been almost a month since my last post! And I know what that means -- it means life is good without cancer staring us in the face everyday. A year has passed since the transplant and we are reaping the rewards of our nation's commitment to science and research. It is a blessing and a demonstration of how God works through his people.

Home hemodialysis is going well (using fewer needles each week) and we are down to four bags of dialysate solution which means the dialysis procedure is going well and that cuts 30 minutes off the daily "blood washing."

Sabine loves our Wisconsin summers and we have just hosted a number of family members at our farm and have greatly enjoyed our newly constructed screen house (where I can be found most afternoons napping!).

We continue to worry about out children (isn't that part of parenting? Even as they approach middle age?) -- daughter Yumi is serving with the US Army in Afghanistan in the northern region and is serving as a logistics officer to the Afghani police (an assignment which greatly worries us).

Nevertheless, we are both hopeful and prayerful people and know that all things will eventually work for the best.

You may not hear much from me this summer and this is, to me, a good thing!

Blessings!

IT'S POOL TIME!

2010-05-24T10:45:00.000-05:00

After 2-1/2 years, Sabine has the plastic tubes out of her neck, secure "buttonholes" for hemodialysis, and some warm weather and..... SHE'S BACK IN THE POOL!

One-Year Anniversary!

2010-05-16T16:37:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Sabine celebrated her one-year anniversary of her stem cell transplant last May with a 50K bike ride to benefit the new Transplant House in Middleton. After a week of cold and rain, yesterday was sunny and nearly 70 degrees! This was our third time on the used tandem we picked up last fall. The course was hilly (which means a lot of work for tandem riders) and some blistering downhills in which we left most of the pack in our dust! A GREAT DAY!

Spring -- I think

2010-05-11T16:21:00.000-05:00

This has been one cold spring season. In March I was out riding my bicycle and then the cold spell hit. But last week Sabine and I did get out on our new-used tandem. We put big panniers on the back so we can commute between the farm and Mazomanie. Wasn't too bad.

I know Sabine is looking forward to swimming this summer -- and with the solar blanket our pool is already over 70 degrees (and on a few nights it has dropped to freezing). In fact, this Sunday, on the way to church, I had to scrape the frost off the windows.

The "cannulations" continue to go well for a whole week and then after a day off those veins are sliding around like a sausage in a pail of water. We have persisted and finally have found the fistula and have not had to resort to using a sharp needle to make the connection.

We have become members of Gilda's Club in Madison and every Tuesday we go there for a potluck dinner and separate cancer patient and caregiver groups. It is another support base for both of us.

Things have gone well as we have returned to our old parish in North Lake on a Sunday by Sunday basis. It has been good for both of us to reconnect with the folks at St Peter's!

How Come I'm Not Perfect?

2010-04-30T11:00:00.000-05:00

Yikes! I have had two days of misery trying to connect (cannulate) Sabine's fistula so that we can wash her blood (hemodialysis). I have spent nearly an hour each day trying to access her fistula and for about an HOUR of multiple "sticks" no luck.

This is problem-solving par excellence! I do what I think is the very same thing every day and some days it works and some days it does not (at least for a while). We haven't been completely shut out, though I have called the dialysis center for help and consulation -- we have not had to abandon the treatment and drive to the center in Madison (at least yet!).

So, I am begining to realize (again) I am not perfect. I was I was. But it just ain't the way life is.

God must be teaching me a lesson. Maybe that's it. And also teaching me the importance of patience.

For this, O Lord, I pray....

Some photos which, more than words, express what happened this morning. The "trash" and then, finally, a good "connection" and blood run!

Dealing with Grief

2010-04-26T12:43:00.001-05:00

I wrote this at one of my men's group follow up sessions on dealing with grief. I find poetry to be especially helpful in going through a cancer diagnosis.

at
first
Sabine’s cancer sadness
was a
monkey
on my back
look (i would think
they’d say)
he’s so strong
but
there’s a
monkey
on his back
and he
can’t
shake it
embarrassed
i would gulp my
grief
swallow my
tears
now
two years have
passed
the monkey
still is
there
(a frequent
passenger) he’s
still
quite visible
a passenger
with whom
i now
find comfort
proud to carry
him
look
(they now say
no longer noticing
the monkey)
how much
he
loves
her.

The Gracious Interim

2010-04-20T11:20:00.000-05:00

What can I say? Life has been good. I even went to a men's retreat in Omaha (with a bit of anxiety I might add!). And Sabine went to the dialysis center that Saturday and they were able to access her fistula without a problem!

So what does that look like? I have inserted a photo of Sabine's arm showing the two access points (the top is the venous access and the lower "buttonhole" access for the arterial connection.

We have another month before we have to meet with Sabine's oncologist and review her "numbers."

In the meantime, she has been hot-tubbing and looking forward to our pool opening in a few weeks!

Travelling? Not during summer. For it is our little "patch" in the rolling hills of southern Wisconsin that Sabine deeply loves and wishes to spend her time. Winter is another thing and she will want to head south for a week or two.

Have a blessed summer!

Progress

2010-04-02T09:03:00.000-05:00

Sabine's catheter removal operation on Wednesday was successful! After two plus years, she is rid of that plastic tube that we used for dialysis. One of the docs called it a "bacterial wick." Good riddance!

So now, water activities are in her horizon.

This week is also Holy Week and we have been helping out at the little church of Holy Trinity on the Mississippi River at Prairie du Chien. We have experienced the illness journey these past two years and find emotional support and comfort in joining Jesus in his journey and rejoicing in his Resurrection!

Our daughter, Yumi, has arrived in Afghanistan. Please pray for her, too!

Love to all from both of us this Easter season!

Gilda's Club -- Cancer Support for the Whole Family

2010-03-20T14:53:00.001-05:00

This morning, Sabine and I joined Gilda's Club (it's free!) as a place where we can get support during our illness. It is named after Saturday Night Live's Gilda Radner (Rose Rosanna Dana, and a host of other great characters. (See http://www.gildasclubmadison.org/Site/index.aspx) It's free and a get community asset.

After our new member session this morning, we went to our first event there -- Laughter Yoga! After a somewhat sad time of listening to other new member's cancer stories, with many mutual tears shared, we went off for an hour of laughter led by the Madison Laughter Club (See http://www.laughteryoga.org/).

I think one of the benefits of joining others who are fighting cancer is the wonderful resource will all can be to one another in both our joys and sorrows.

Yep, I am a devotee. Why?

TEN GOOD REASONS TO LAUGH FOR NO REASON

1. Laughter is a strees buster.
2. Laughter strengthens the immune system.
3. Laughter is aerobic exercise (really!).
4. Laughter is anti-aging.
5. Laughter is internal jogging.
6. Laughter is a natural pain killer.
7. Laughter can control high blood pressure.
8. Laughter can help dump depression and anxiety.
9. Laughter alleviates bronchitis and asthma.
10. Laughter just makes you feel good.

And I would add an eleventh reason, a laughter group is the place where I can tell one of my corny jokes and everyone laughs!

THINK SPRING (even though we woke up this morning with three inches of the white stuff on the ground)!

Targeting the Fistula

2010-03-18T12:27:00.000-05:00

I felt like Robin Hood this morning -- one needle, one stick in each buttonhole -- two arrows flew and hit their mark! We just got our catheter-removal appointment confirmed for UW Hospital on the 28th of this month. Canoeing and pool time are in Sabine's future. We are both getting comfortable with using the new "connecting" method for dialysis. Robins have been seen, Sandhill Cranes heard... Spring is coming.

HOME ALONE!

2010-03-13T12:10:00.000-06:00

Thankfully, the Mazomanie neighborhood was not roused out of bed by our screams! Instead, all went relatively well. Only one attempt needed on the Arterial buttonhole and two one "re-stick" on that still-troublesome Venous buttonhole. Whew! A little pre-treatment anxiety and the potential of inflicting pain on my beloved.

So, it's party-time tonight and our celebration tongith at a "sock-hop" at the home of one of our support group couples -- "Come on it's twisting time like we did last summer, it's twisting time, twisting time is here!" (or something like that ala Chubby Checker).

To calm our selves Sabine and I started taking Tai Chi and we both are liking it.

Home Visit

2010-03-12T12:14:00.001-06:00

Today, our nurses from the home dialysis program, Dawn and Lila, came out for a visit to see how I was doing with the "cannulations" (read: needle sticks).

We got to the cottage early in order to reposition the machine, Sabine's armrest -- logisitics and supplies. So we were ready to go when our nursing team arrived.

Let me first say that I thought this was going to be easy -- I mean, how can you miss a big vein? Turns out, "often."

Well, it wasn't too bad. I made the first connect (arterial) on my first stick. But then the elusive upper part of the fistula (and narrower) became, again, challenging. A couple of needles, some deep breaths, another attack, palpate the vein, and then EUREKA -- connection.

All went well during the treatment and now I am breathing easier!

Tomorrow I am on my own (but with Sabine's encouragement!).

Oh yes, another positive note: Sabine is scheduled to have the tunnel catheter removed at the end of this month (those plastic tubes she has had in her neck for two years) -- think swimming, canoeing!

Whew!

2010-03-11T09:25:00.002-06:00

What's that? Pride goeth before a fall? Perhaps... over-confidence? But this morning (our final in-clinic visit and my supervised "buttonholing") went south. It took multiple attempts to finally get into the fistula and Sabine was a real trouper as first I probed and then Xinliu! And then tomorrow we have our "home visit" to get cleared for solo flight. I'm a little anxious with all this but I think we can still do it. They key I learned this morning was don't give up with the blunt buttonhole needles and go back to the sharp ones. Keep on trying, be persistent and take a couple of breaks.

The image on the top is the fistula needle set and the other image is the "blunt" needle that is inserted through the "buttonhole" we have established over the past few weeks.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's report and pray for me!

Rounding the bend

2010-03-08T09:30:00.000-06:00

And heading for the backstretch. Today, I cannulated Sabine's arm at the dialysis center and all went well (this time we were using a home dialysis machine in the center and under one of nurse's watchful eye)! We will come back on Thursday again and then on Friday we will have a "home visit" at the cottage in Mazomanie --THEN, we are on our own! And, God-willing, the plastic catheter will be removed from Sabine's neck and she will be back in the pool (well, it's a little frozen right now)!

Report by Change Nurse David

Still Poking Around

2010-03-02T16:36:00.000-06:00

Well, we are just about there -- "there" being an established "buttonhole." On Monday, we planned on using the blunt-end fisula needles for the access. I got the lower arterial needle in right away (I was told we had a good "channel" established there, but ran into problems with the upper venous needle and had to go back to a sharp needle to gain access to the fistula. Tomorrow we will be back at it again. This has been a long procedure with some initial setbacks in establishing the surgical fisula connection in Sabine's upper arm. But now we are confident we are in the homestretch and will soon be sent home doing the dialysis through the fistula. In the meantime, we do two days at home (through the catheter) and three days in the dialysis clinic in Madison. Summer's coming -- Sabine feels the water (which she has been prevented from entering due to the tunnel catheter in her neck) beckoning! THINK SPRING!

Needling

2010-02-26T10:07:00.000-06:00

It's Friday and I have now done my 6th set of "sticks" in Sabine's fistula. We are well on the way to establishing the "buttonholes" and I am told I am improving my technique each time.

On Monday, I will be using the buttonhole needle (with a blunt point) through the "tunnel" we have been in the process of creating these past two weeks at the dialysis center in Madison.

Sabine has picked up a cold and this, of course, picks up my "worry antenna." But Sabine seems to have a fairly normal cold with only slightly elevated temperatures and light cough.

The dialysis staff did a blood culture on Wednesday and it, thankfully, turned out negative. But I am still cautious and, yes, no kissing!

It has been snowy with some zero temperatures and we are ready for Spring!

Not As Easy As You Think!

2010-02-20T12:49:00.001-06:00

As I mentioned earlier, I am making the "insertions" of the two 15 ga. needles into Sabine's arm three times a week at the dialysis center in Madison. I have a great coach in Xin Lu, who patiently directs my big paws!

You can see in the picture that I have drawn circles with my magic marker to bullseye the needle entry points and the direction of insertion.

While the first three days went well, I sort of crashed yesterday missing the fistula both times -- but finally got a "flash" indicating I was in the fistula and the rest of the treatment went well.

We will be going to the Center again next week while I maintain the same angle of insertion (about 30 degrees) and the same entry "tunnel" to the fistula in Sabine's arm so that we can eventually establish the "buttonhole."

When the buttonhole is established, we will do the insertions (cannulations) at home with a blunt needle which will access the same tunnel I have developed over the past few weeks.

As soon as we develop the buttonhole and all systems are "go," then the tunnel catheter can be removed from Sabine's neck enabling her to get back into the water this summer!

You know, 15 gauge needles are REAL big!

p.s. There is a 4 minute video on YouTube in which a man shows how he uses his buttonhole during home hemodialysis: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=153372659747625126#

p.p.s. After reviewing the entire video I have to let you know that my training at the Wisconsin Dialysis Center involved more infection precautions: masking up and wearing gloves for both "putting on" and "taking off,", and using chlorohexidine at the buttonhole sites rather than betadyne.

Good News! (again)

2010-02-11T10:51:00.001-06:00

Sabine's stem-cell transplant last spring seems to be holding. We just got our labs back prior to meeting with Dr Sheehan next Wednesday and they look good. The primary "marker" has been the number of those nasty "light chain" proteins that caused the kidney failure and they are currently in the "normal" range. This is good news and to be celebrated!

Another good report comes from this morning when I made the first needle "sticks" into Sabine's fistula in her arm. I was able to hit the veins (fistula) and all went well (I know Sabine was a little anxious, but I had received good training from the staff, watched a 2-hour video, and was rarin' and ready to go this morning. It will take a couple of weeks for me down this so there is a tunnel and then we can make the connection through the "buttonhole" with a blunt needle thereby reducing the chance of missing the vein and causing internal bleeding in the arm. So far, so good.

p.s. Second day note: arm looks good, no bleeding, no hematomas!

Thanks be to God!

Reflecting on Feelings

2010-02-09T09:13:00.000-06:00

[We had a great ride back from Florida (avoiding all the storms) and returned late Saturday to the farm. We had to do dialysis on Sunday morning and missed church (thankfully God is an understanding God)].

On Monday night we saw the animated film, "Up." I am somewhat embarassed to reveal to you that while watching this movie I was reduced to tears at least two times -- and it was a cartoon!

So what's going on? What emotionally hit me was the time when the man lost his wife -- familiar fears? Of course. The second was when he was reading her diary and it ended with her saying that the adventures they had shared together were wonderful and now it was time for him to continue another adventure. He, of course, could not see that and it took a little boy to help him go on another adventure -- this time to take his home, surrounded by urban construction, to South America via an enormous balloon bunch!

What I came to understand is that Sabine's cancer diagnosis is still right there -- still a deep fear of her death and how I will be able to go on (after all, we are still having a great adventure together -- but like all of our adventures and realtionships, they will one day end!).

While on vacation, I finished Stephen Levine's book, "A Year to Live," and it, again, highlighted the importance of living each day fully -- breathing in life with each breath, of savoring it, and then the next breath... tasting and savoring it as well.

I know I am deeply fearful of Sabine's death and my own ability to surmount the deep pain and loss it will trigger. But I still sense God is in this with me and somehow, I will and can go on -- somehow.

In the meantime, each day with her is a blessing and as I write this I find I must quickly stop or short-circuit my keyboard which is very sensitive to beign immersed in water.

Blessings, my friends -- embrace the journey!

Heading Home

2010-02-04T09:08:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow we will be heading home -- back to Wisconsin, snow and arm-sticking as we begin again to develop and access point on Sabine's arm with the able assistance of the Wisconsin Dialysis Center. We have had a great and active time in Florida -- visiting kids and grandkids, friends Rusty and Diane, exercising, beach walking and being patrons of the arts (The Blue Man Group, The Moscow Circus, and Neil Simon's play, "Rumors").

The weather has been great, but we miss our dog (Sabine's brother, Rainer, came and visited his mother for a week and nearly stole the affections of Mocha).

So, tomorrow morning we get up early, dialyze, and hit the road north (most likely through some rain and sleet and even snow as we progress north.

This has been a good time. A time to enjoy one another. A time to be thankful for the time we have. Refreshed, we move on.

Florida!

2010-01-25T13:36:00.000-06:00

As pictures can tell a thousand words...

Thinking sun and sand

2010-01-14T10:09:00.002-06:00

We continue our thrice-weekly visits to the dialysis center in Madison in preparation for developing a working access point in Sabine's arm (eliminating the catheter in her neck) for our home dialysis.

Veins must be tricky things -- the staff here at the center has had troubling finding and accessing the vein connection in Sabine's arm which has resulted in multiple "sticks" with large gauge needles!

However, we are seeing some progress and when we return from our Florida trip (which begins EARLY next Wednesday morning) in the first week in February, I will be learning to take over as the primary "sticker" which will eventually turn into two points (buttonholes) that can be accessed by a blunt needle and, hopefully, less pain and anxiety producing.

We are looking forward to seeing both kids and grandkids in Florida. We will be outfitting our slide-in camper again as a mobile dialysis station to serve us on the road!

Again, this is has been a stable time for the cancer since the transplant last spring. We will see Dr Sheehan and review her tests when we get back to Wisconsin. So far, so good.

Love and blessings from both of us!

Still Poking Around

2010-01-07T08:18:00.003-06:00

We are still going to the dialysis center in Madison to establish a "buttonhole" in Sabine's arm. It was snowing this morning as we ventured out from our farm and drove to Madison. Sabine has been a little anxious during this process which has gone on for a couple of months now because there has been difficulty in finding the vein/fistula in her arm. After multiple "pokes" with a 15 gauge needle in your arm you get a little fidgety!

Last week we had to go into surgery to do a little "roto rooter" in her arm to unclog a blockage (stenosis). Earlier this week the dialysis center did a test of the flow in her arm and the numbers were very good -- great flow and no blood "looping."

Because of the problem staff nurses were having finding her fistula and making a connection, I pressed for a clinical meeting (getting the staff together to do some problem solving and find the best way to get a connection without having to make multiple "tries"). Earlier this week, information was exchanged among the dialysis staff and a "best practice" was developed and shared. So, this morning the first attempts were successful and all went well (halleluyah!).

Things are now looking up and we still plan on leaving for two weeks in Florida at the end of this month. (I will be using her tunnel catheter will we are on the road just to be sure we won't run into vein problems).

We are both relaxing after an intense, yet joyful, Christmas visit by kids and cousins. More snow is on the way. Our snow shoes stand at the ready!!

Number 28!

2009-12-29T10:06:00.002-06:00

After the anesthesia and surgery yesterday we were up bright and early for our 7 a.m. appointment at the dialysis center in Madison. It was zero degrees this morning as I chored the donkeys and got them settled in with feed and water for the day. Sabine's mother, Charlotte (the donkey woman) is still recovering from her knee surgery and the donkey's are complaining about not seeing her (it seems she is a little more talkative with the donkeys than I am at 5 a.m!)

But, lo and hehold, it is our wedding anniversary today! Number 28! And I wrote a poem for Sabine:

when was it
that
our eyes
connected
to
our souls?
when was it
we first
knew
we
were forever?
when was it
that our
passion
drowned
our reason?
when was it
we would
die
for one another?
when was it
found
we could not
live without
each other?
when was it
that
every day
became better than
the last?
when was it?

it is now.

Back at the Hospital

2009-12-28T14:52:00.005-06:00

Just before Christmas we had a bit of setback with the "buttonholing." We were going to the dialysis clinic in Madison three days a week in order to get the fistula in Sabine's arm working so that we can make a shift from the tunnel catheter in her neck to a "buttonhole" access in her arm. (The original surgery to make this happen occured last Spring before her stem cell transplant.)

So, here we are back at UW Hospital today trying to find out why her arm was so swollen, bruised and painful. It appears she has some kind of blockage and the docs are going to take a picture of the veins in her arm and she where the problem lies. Then they will attempt to clear the blockage so we can get back to our buttonholing process.

[A short time later] Dr Yevzlin reported he found two narrow/blocked areas in her arm and opened them up. We also have a picture of the fistula which should help dialysis staff find a dialysis site without probing with needles!

So, we are now ready to go, back to the dialysis center tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. to do some more vein expanding! (Sabine must feel like a pin cushion!).

Forward!

A Reflection on Health Care Cost

2009-12-17T10:48:00.003-06:00

I hope you all sense the peace I feel with Sabine's stemcell transplant. It has been two years now since we descended upon the world of healthcare -- which prior to that time was our annual physicals!

In this "quiet time," one reflects sometimes on other things. Sabine, for example, was thinking about our health insurance. She did some checking around and noticed that there is a $2 million "cap" on our policy with Group Health Cooperative in Madison. Hmmm, $2 million sounds like a lot of money -- except when you are talking about medical care. The next thing she did was to check out how much we had spent these past two years and it turned out to be about $360,000! Well, that sounds like it should last -- or will it with costs ever increasing. Some more chemotherapy, another stemcell transplant and some hospitalizations and we could be nearing the "cap."

But what I think about is this: what do folks do who weren't lucky enough to work for the government for twenty years like Sabine did? How would we have paid for the cost of her treatment so far without insurance? I suppose we could have divested, sold our home and property, and rented an apartment.

We would still have our retirement income and a roof over our heads. And it would be okay. But how many other folks today don't have insurance or an income? What do they do? Live out of their automobile? At least until it gives out?

So as Congress debates health care along with funding a war I am just a little confused. I am proud of my country and I want it to continue not only to be a country I am proud of but a country in which we all have pride. A great nation takes care of those who live within its borders. Quality healthcare should not be available only to those who can pay for it. A program for universal healthcare in America is simply the moral and ethical thing to do!

Christmas Newsletter from New Journey Farm

2009-12-15T09:54:00.003-06:00

Christmas at St Peter's Episcopal Church, North Lake, WI

New Journey Farm in Blue Mounds

Christmas News -- 2009

Ye gads! Another Christmas newsletter -- and time for a review of the past year at New Journey Farm in the rolling hills of Blue Mounds, Wisconsin. As the newest member of the Couper-Lobitz menagerie, it is my duty to make this year’s annual report.

First is the category of MEDICAL! I, joyful and thankfully, report that Sabine’s stem cell transplant last spring seems to have been successful (after all, she now has hair and I just saw her shoveling snow last week!). Sabine and David continue to be active in the Madison Multiple Myeloma Cancer Support Group. Sadly, they lost two of their group members during the year.

I also see them maintaining their exercise regimen – power-walking the hills that surround the farm in the summer and snowshoeing in the winter. Along with cycling (they now have a tandem) and health club visits in nearby Mount Horeb, both of them seem to be in pretty good health. Recently, they took Tai Chi lessons and I expect that this will be David’s 5th or 6th martial art.

Sabine’s mother, Charlotte, recently came home from undergoing a knee replacement (she was not too happy about the nursing home stay for rehab services.) She made it home in time to cook for all of us at Christmas. Quite frankly, I miss her hair brushing and hope she can come down and see me. I am a little jealous, because I heard that Mocha got to visit her when she was doing her rehab work in Mt. Horeb!

David is finishing up his two-year project on the police book and recently retained an editor to put finishing touches on it. They expect to have a “polished” copy to present to an agent by early summer. David feels that the book (some 400+ pages) will give him closure with his police career and send him forward to then write about the church! He and Sabine continue to worship with our local Lutheran parish in nearby Mazomanie and David occasionally is asked to lead worship and preach in the immediate area. (I think he likes doing that!).

Sometimes on Sundays they are late coming home from church. I have heard them talking about a second church they attend nearby made up by the “nones;” those who say “none” when asked about their religious denomination. This “church” they call “The Church of the Cinnamon Bun” or, for those more liturgical, “The Caramel-rollians.” I have heard them say that this “congregation” assembles on Sunday mornings around 10 o’clock to converse, drink coffee and enjoy a home-baked cinnamon bun or caramel roll at a local business. That’s where they met their good friends and neighbors Frederika (who taught Sabine how to knit) and her partner, Bonita.

Some of the things David and Sabine have done this year involve camping two weeks in Glacier Park with friends Andy and Kathy, getting together with David’s old friends from his days on the Minneapolis Police Department, Art and Grace Maxwell in Red Lodge, MT, fishing in Iowa with Sabine’s sister and husband, Ken (who have wonderfully helped out numerous times during Sabine’s illness), and going to a Broadway play in Milwaukee along with their usual trips to the American Players Theater, an open air theater near Spring Green, the Madison Rep (until they sadly folded), and saw talented friends in “The Music Man” held in the Ringling Brothers Theater in Baraboo. Sabine says there's no such thing as too much theater!

They also traveled to Hutchinson Beach, Florida, in February where they were joined by kids and relatives, and spent a week in Milwaukee at the Pfister Hotel when David was called as an expert witness. Sabine was the featured speaker at the local “Relay for Life” which raises money across the nation for cancer research. They also taught a seven-week marriage course at New Heights Lutheran Church in Mazomanie. Grandson, Ben, along with family members, Peter, Tammy, Samantha, and Hannah, came down for a summer visit and Peter, Ben and David went for a 50 mile “3 Generation” bike ride in the hill country (Whew! They sure looked tuckered out when I saw them!). In October, they spent a long weekend at Pinecrest near Iron River with friends Ted and Barb Chesney, Dave and Gretchen Considine, and Steve and Duffy Krug. They also experienced their first snowfall of the season that weekend.

There were visits from Sabine’s sister, Barb, and hubby Ken during that tense time of the stem cell transplant (they really couldn’t have done it without them!), along with summer visits from daughter Yumi (whose smiling face meant everything), and Sabine’s brother, Rainer, who always brings a trusty hammer and saw to make farm improvements – including those to our pen. Sabine's long-time high school friend, Shirley, stopped by with her new beau, Ron, and Sabine and David were happy to see them.

As is the case, our Christmas this year will be on a sliding scale from December 18th to the 25th. I expect to get ear-rubs from their daughter and son. Sarah and Joshua, who live locally, along with pets from nieces and nephews from Missouri and Illinois, daughter Sumi and her family (husband Scott and daughter, Taylor) from New Jersey, daughter Yumi (who will soon be deployed to Afghanistan with the 10th Mountain Division where she serves as an administrative officer to a medical unit) and their son Matthew and his daughter, Gracie, who will be coming from sunny California and experiencing snow for the first time.

This is a blessed time of year. My relatives made room for the Christ-child when he was born and we carried him in Jerusalem while walking among the palm boughs.

Love and peace to all,

Buckpasser (“Bucky”)

(Who was adopted after our donkey Mauritz passed away earlier this year)

Winter Comes -- Snowshoes On!

2009-12-11T11:16:00.005-06:00

Sabine and I are getting ready for Christmas (though I resist early preparation for the Great Feast Day because I like to celebrate the liturgical time of Advent); but Sabine usually wins out as you can see her getting her mother's tree up and it's only the 2nd Sunday of Advent! Sabine's mother, Charlotte, recently had a knee replacement and has been in the Mt Horeb Nursing Home for the past two weeks undergoing some intensive physical therapy. She comes home today. I joked with the nursing staff that we would leave her in the nursing home unless they promised us she would be able to cook!

On Tuesday and Wednesday we received a ton of snow -- about 1.5 feet worth. Only our neighbor Bob's John Deere tractor with front end loader was able to move this heavy snow. But after shovelling out the geese and donkeys and pathways, we spend the rest of Wednesday in front of our wood stove.

This morning, we broke trail in the woods with our snowshoes and got a great aerobic workout!

We expect a bunch of relatives during Christmas week (actually 4 Advent!) and will have to have two Christmas celebrations. Son, Matthew and his daughter, Gracie (who has never seen snow!) will be coming from California along with our daughters, Sarah (Wisconsin Dells), Sumi (husband Scott and daughter, Taylor) (New York) and Yumi (Fort Drum, NY) and son, Joshua (Verona, WI - near Madison). Joining us also will be cousins Teak and Kelly with children Seger and Malea and Kim and sons, Jared and Jackson! Whew! It will be a Merry Christmas!! That's about 15 people over the week plus Sabine and I and Sabine's mom.

I will no doubt undergo some anquish as Army Capt. Yumi heads to Afghanistsan in early 2010 with the 10th Mountain Division. (Now I really want this war to end!).

We continue thrice weekly visits to the dialysis clinic in Madison to get Sabine's arm in shape for "buttonholing" which will enable us to dialyze through access points in Sabine's arm and rid ourselves of the tunnel catheter in her neck.

The miracle of the stem cell transplant continues and Sabine's strength (and hair) increase daily. We will be seeing more of the family in late January and early February when we visit Florida in our trusty camper.

So... life is good. Enjoy every day. Carpe diem! That we all would be able to fully live everyday as if it were our last. Blessings to each and every one of you this Holy Season!

[You can read some of my spiritual reflections at: http://christinyouchristinme.blogspot.com/]

Three Months!

2009-11-19T08:58:00.003-06:00

Here's some pics from Dr Sheehan's office and the dialysis center as we start developing an access in Sabine's arm and rid ourselves of the tunnel catheter in her neck!

Yesterday was Sabine's second post-transplant meeting with her oncologist/hemotologist Dr Sheehan at the University of Wisconsin Cancer Clinic. He reviewed her blood work and checked her out. After doing all this, Dr Sheehan announced, see you in three months!

Thanks be to God -- his mercy is everlasting! What a journey we have had during the past 23 months! And what wonderful friends we have. Thank you, again!

At Wisconsin Dialysis Center

2009-11-17T07:35:00.002-06:00

We're baaaaak! Yep, at the Wisconsin Dialysis Center again to take another step in our journey. We are returning to the Center three times a week for the next six weeks to develop and access port (fistula/"buttonhole") in Sabine's arm. When this is developed (matured) we will be able to do our home hemodialysis through the vein-artery connection that was surgically put into place earlier this year.

The benefit of using a fistula in her arm versus the plastic tunnel catheter she has had in her neck for almost two years will be enormous because we will be able to remove the tunnel catheter which is always has the danger of becoming either clotted or infected.

Other than that, Sabine's cancer numbers (those nasty lambda light chain proteins) are behaving themselves and she is now, after the second series of blood tests post stem cell transplant, still within normal ranges. We see Dr Sheehan tomorow for the second check-up since the transplant. Thanks be to God, all remains well and we are both looking forward to a great Wisconsin winter with lots of snow!

A Poem for Fall

2009-11-05T09:11:00.001-06:00

it’s a sunny-crisp
quiet
november day
has everyone left?
our morning chirpers
flown south
our friends the sandhills
florida by now
the pond peepers
silent
we mulch leaves
put away lawn furniture
stack wood
drain faucets
the furnace man
and chimney sweep
come and go
yes, it’s sunny-crisp day
as winter
quietly
methodically
walks south
tree by tree
and we
in respite
walk our woods
then to read a book
snuggling
by the wood stove
touched by
radiance.

A Happy All Hallow's Eve

2009-11-01T06:57:00.003-06:00

We continue to enjoy this blessed "interim" period in which the cancer does not dominate our life with medical appointments, chemotherapy, and the constant barrage of lab tests. We attended our church's "Trunk or Treat" in Mazomanie. The adults dress up and park their autos in the church parking lot, open the trunks and wait for the kids crying, "Trunk or treat!" We are happy to announce that we did not have to put any of the children in our trunk.

The next picture portrays a "boys afternoon out" on Friday. My friend Jeff and I got together at his house and after some heavy discussion that solved the world's problems, we took a motorcycle ride around the Blue Mounds area. (Jeff has TWO big bikes!). It brought back a lot of memories of motorcycles in my past -- from teenager dirt track days to getting rid of my last motorcycle when I went off to seminary, having decided God saved me enough and I wasn't taking anymore chances!)

But the real exciting event of the weekend involved trusty wonder dog, Mocha, who ran into a fence or some sharp object on our morning walk in the woods and received a nasty gash in her chest. We had to make an early morning "ER" run to the vet that morning. Thanks to Dr Williams (another Dr Williams is Sabine's GP) being in his office in Mt Horeb, we got her stitched up. Then we had to go to Goodwill and select an appropriate shirt for her to wear so she wouldn't take out her stitches! (You can't see it clearly but it is a cheerleader's top with sequins attached!).

So we are enjoying this calm in our life. In a couple of weeks we begin the "buttonholing" in Sabine's arm. The surgery went well and her arm has healed quite well. This will involve driving into the Madison dialysis clinic three times a week until the sight is developed and we can use it for home dialysis.

We hoping for a winter with lots of snow so we can do a lot of snowshoeing and skiing!

And a Happy All Saints' Day to all of you who have been saints to us!

Sailing along...

2009-10-14T10:36:00.003-05:00

(Up north near Iron River -- yes, that's snow!)

If you are wondering what happened to my regular weekly posts, let me just say that in this wonderful grace period I find myself not needing to write about Sabine's illness. Her surgery went well and we are about to start "buttonholing" in a couple of weeks at the dialysis clinic in Madison. After her dialysis access point (the buttonhole) is developed we will resume home dialysis and the tunnel catheter in her neck will be removed (you may remember this is an ever-present site for possible infection).

In the interim, I have taken to writing another blog on the religious/spiritual experience and how one's beliefs should inform our action.

This blog can be found here on blogspot at:

http://christinyouchristinme.blogspot.com/

Hope the summer has been as good for you as it has been for us.

Successful Surgery

2009-10-06T07:53:00.004-05:00

We had a great and successful day at UW Hospital yesterday. The surgery went well, and the medical staff were great!

Sabine's vein has "matured" over the last six months and she will be ready to start the "buttonholing" procedure in about three weeks.

She slept well last night (just a little pain) and woke up raring and ready to go to see the Broadway musical, "Spring Awakening" in Milwaukee tonight!!

p.s. by the way, I am doing another blog on life, living, God and the Holy Spirit at

http://christinyouchristinme.blogspot.com

Reflecting After 22 Months

2009-10-04T13:22:00.002-05:00

I thought this would be a good time to reflect -- 22 months into the breach.

While the unexamined life isn't worth living, so also is a life in which there is no reflection. We are all so into action that reflection seems not worth our time; a trivial pursuit. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

It has now been nearly two years since Sabine took ill. It was the worst time in my life and it also became the very best time in my life. How can I say that? Stay with me... while Sabine's illness and fatal cancer diagnosis scared me almost to death and broke me emotionally, it also brought into focus what is important in my life. As a friend of mine reminded me, responsibility is not meaning. Men like me take being responsible, in charge, in control as being meaning. I found out it isn't. I was no longer in control.

For the first time in my life I HAD to depend upon God. I had two choices -- put myself into God's hands or to kiss God goodbye (I did consider the latter!). The choice I made was reasonable and rational -- it is the mettle of the psalms -- "trust in God -- no matter what happens."

God sustained me. God answered my prayer and lifted me up when I was down; encouraged me and listened to my tears. Because of the terrible days, I more deeply appreciate the many wonderful ones we share in between. It is in our primary loving relationships that we get glimpses of God and, at the same time, we are given our greatest test as human persons.

I also realized that the intense happiness I have enjoyed loving Sabine for 28 years and being her partner is temporary in this life. One day it will come to an end as sad and frightening that may seem to me. There is a beginning, middle and end to all things on this earth; no sense whistling past those graveyards.

I know this now. I have come to grips with it and it is OKAY! This realization strengthened my faith in a loving, caring, compassionate God who is worth seeking and knowing.

So, today I am reflecting. I am thankful. What Sabine and I have sustained together strengthens my life and deepens even more my love for her.

Peace and love to each one of you who have walked this journey with us.

Life is good and worthwhile and so is the One who creates and sustains it.

Happy, happy talk!

2009-09-30T15:24:00.002-05:00

Hey, why not some happy faces here?

I'm wearing one!

Sabine met with her primary cancer doc (Dr Sheehan) today and he reviewed her recent tests and all looks GREAT! All the important markers within normal range. He will see her in SIX weeks! This coming Monday, Sabine has some "minor" day-surgery to start to establish a "buttonhole" in her arm for dialysis purposes... swimming is just ahead!

It's been almost 2 years since that terrible diagnosis. Thanks to all of you for your support and prayers -- we couldn't have done it without you!

Love from both of us!

The Cabana

2009-09-28T10:26:00.003-05:00

Sabine's brother, Rainer, was in town for three days, with hammer and saw in hand, and looking for something creative to do. So, Sabine said, "Let's build a cabana!" And so we did (under, of course, Sabine's close supervision)...

The roof is now on and I have just a few things left to do like putting up the screening and a door... Otherwise, we now have a CABANA!

Thanks, Rainer!

T for Two!

2009-09-24T10:14:00.002-05:00

AND THE "T" STANDS FOR TANDEM!

Because Sabine believes that her cancer hates oxygen, we purchased this used tandem from a couple near Lodi (thanks to craigslist.com).

It is both an on and off-road tandem so we can use the many bicycle trails in our area. Next Wednesday, Sabine plans to take the tandem into her appointment with Dr Sheehan and ride it back home (a round trip of about 60 miles!).

The picture is our first ride on the tandem near the Military Ridge Trail at Blue Mounds.

Sabine plans to save gasoline by using the tandem to commute the 10 mile trip to our cottage in Mazomanie during dialysis days (with good weather!).

p.s. it's taken me 28 years to get her on a tandem bike! I used to have a tandem when we were dating and she simply did not like having to be in the rear! (my smelly shorts?). Generally, the person with the most upper body strength is the "captain" (in front) and the other person functions as the "stoker." This is NOT sexist!

So, it's taken me all these years to break her in (don't tell her I said this!) and now she seems to enjoy the team effort of tandem riding. Again, life may not be fair, but it is good!

Poetic Ramblings

2009-09-22T10:55:00.002-05:00

This has been an artsy couple of weeks with plays in Spring Green and at the American Players Theater nearby. This week (on Wednesday) Sabine finally gets back to see her primary cancer doc, Dr Sheehan, after being passed to Dr Longo for the successful (I might add) stem cell transplant. Hallelujah!

Then next week we start the "buttonhole" process (establishing a fistual site in Sabine's arm to enable dialysis in a more aseptic way than the tunnel catheter we have used for nearly two years!). This will permit access for dialysis in Sabine's arm and enable her to engage in swimming and water sports which were prohibited by the tunnel catheter in her neck. We have a day surgery scheduled for the 5th of October.

And, oh yes, the Marriage Course (www.themarriagecourse.org) begins at New Heights Lutheran Church in Mazomanie on October 8th!

My hobby (I have finally realized) is writing poetry. Some of you have read some of it from time to time here on this blog.

Some events have happened which resulted in some wordsmithing: Sabine's temporary remission as a result of the stem cell transplant, a father and son dying nearby us, ruminating on past loves and losses with one of my daughters, and a bicycle ride discussion I had with my friend, Jeff, about "What's it like to be you?"

this interim time
sweet as summer squash
peaceful as an afternoon nap
yet
i hold my breath
watching you sleep
wondering
worrying
about that cancer
it’s there
hidden
lying in wait
like a mugger
on a dark path
God, you know what
you have to do
smite it!
yes I said smite
smite those
evil mugger cells
like you smote
those
philistines
you can do it
please…

two deaths you say?
so close together
down that
winding hill?
a father and son
same spot
weeks apart
an accident?
the father's
empty boots
along the road
his body
nearby
the trigger
and the toe
fall leaves
sprinkle
crimson red
as two souls
like evening mist
float
along
the creek
searching
for
each other

to all i've loved
and loved
me back
thank you!
(i mean it)
you've taught
me much through
trial and error
my faults
mistakes
hurts & pains
and yes grief
(let’s not forget
the grief)
oh yes
the loss
(we can't forget
the loss either)
thank you
your teaching has
not been lost
it's led
me to
a love that
truly passes
understanding
without you
all of this would
have been
not!
old dogs
can learn
new
tricks

what's it like
to be you?
whew, you say
that’s heavy
yes, but what IS
it like to be you?
what makes you
you?
how can i love you
if i don’t know
what it feels like
to be
you?
think about it
because
i’m thinking about it
about
telling you
what’s it like
to be
me

Thanks for all you continued support and prayers!

Enjoying the late summer...

2009-09-13T14:53:00.004-05:00

Yes, that's Sabine and me on the far right (for once!). We were at the annual "Bob Fest" in Baraboo (a liberal bastion of democrats and free-thinkers). We got some good t-shirts and lawn signs.

You are probably wondering "where's the blogs?" But you know that NO news with me is usually GOOD news. We are celebrating this new lease on life called a stem cell transplant. Sabine is feeling great and strong! (And, thus, lowering greatly my nearly two year long anxiety!)

This is Sabine outside the new indoor American Players Theater near Spring Green. In one week's time we saw two stunning plays. First. "Old Times" by Pinter (wow!) and then O'Neil's "Long Days Journey Into Night." Both were powerful relational plays and gave new meaning to dysfunctional families!

We met with the "access" folks at UW Hospital and Sabine has her surgery to bring her vein connection up on October 5th. (Just in time -- we begin teaching The Marriage Course on the 8th). It's a day surgery and this is the second step now to creating a fistual access point in her arm for dialysis. It will also permit her to rid herself of the tunnel catheter in her neck!

We are greatly enjoying this late burst of summer, taking hikes, and enjoying each other's company.

LIFE IS GOOD!

Basking...

2009-08-31T11:49:00.005-05:00

The last pic (above is a video)...

Here we are this past weekend's Wisconsin Riverfest near Spring Green. Just had to get out and boogie! I feel like the axe of the executioner has been stayed... and we all ought to celebrate life fully each day. Why wait? Life is short and there are blessings all around us... You are reading the words of one happy guy! Did I ever doubt those dark days in January 20 months ago? I was scared... but somehow I knew we would get through this. We don't have a cure, but we sure have a blessing!

Oh, Happy Day!

2009-08-28T14:27:00.009-05:00

The long-awaited call came from Dr Longo concerning Sabine's bone marrow biopsy and the test for her light chain disease (a 24-hour urine test). All markers for her cancer.

Bone Marrow Biopsy: Normal Bone Marrow!

Lambda Light Chains: 0.18! (she started out with over 25,000 and the Velcade/Dex chemotherapy brought them down to around 100 before they started climbing again).

Dr Longo's Diagnosis: Multiple Myeloma in Remission!

This, of course, is not the end of the fight. It is round two or three in which Sabine has a definite advantage. She is scheduled this month to raise up her connected veins so that she can develop a fistula for dialysis purposes and then get rid of the tunnel catheter in her neck. This will not only enable her to engage in water sports, but also provide a dialysis connection that is more aseptic. Who knows what the future may bring? There has even been the mention of a kidney transplant if she remains cancer-free for a period of two years.

Plenty still to pray for and we thank all of you from the bottom of our hearts for your love, concern and prayers. You are wonderful friends!

To this we give God glory and raise up the power of love and prayer!

Waiting...

2009-08-23T12:56:00.002-05:00

Last week was filled with medical appointments -- one of them VERY important.

On Tuesday, we started out with Sabine having a visit with her primary care physician, Deb Williams, at Group Health Cooperative (GHC). Then we were off to our multiple myeloma support group in the afternoon.

On Wednesday, Sabine had her blood drawn at GHC and began collecting urine for 24 hours which will tell us more about her cancer levels.

The break in the week was taking Sabine's mom and her friend, Pat, to the American Player's Theater to see Noel Coward's "Hay Fever" on Wednesday evening.

The next day, Thursday, was our long-awaited "100 day post-transplant" visit with Dr Longo where Sabine got about seven holes put in her arm before they were able to get an IV in for her bone marrow biopsy. The good news is that -- so far -- Dr Longo seemed encouraged by Sabine's blood work. But, as the say, "the proof of the pudding is in the biopsy" (or something like that). Dr Longo promised to call us on Thursday or Friday giving us the results of how the transplant is dealing with those nasty cancer cells and proteins!

Thursday afternoon was spent at our monthly clinic at the dialysis center in Madison.

On top of this we had daily dialysis that took up a half-day every day of the week except Thursday!

Needless to say, we are hoping and praying for great findings this coming week!

The Joy and the Sorrow

2009-08-19T07:42:00.003-05:00

Reading my blog you might think that this cancer stuff is just a minor inconvenience. Well, we try to live like that. From time to time, someone in our support group will say that if he or she didn't attend the support group they would forget they had cancer.

That may be true and we have often said that if we didn't have to dialyze five times a week we, too, might think that. But then...

On our arrive home on Sunday, I retrieved my emails (a great benefit of Glacier Park is that there are few internet connections and, for the most part, no cell phone service!) and was brought suddenly back into the reality of CANCER!

Just after we left Madison, two members of our support group whom we had grown to know and love died. We felt bad that we missed their funerals and memorial services and could not say goodbye to them. There remains a deep sadness in both of us.

When we joined the multiple myeloma support group 18 months ago we were both in "post-diagnosis distress." Within our group we immediately found two real "fighters" with tremendous energy and enthusiasm for life: Maggie Heyden and Chuck Koval. They became models and mentors for us.

Maggie was a young woman with children still in school and she was determined to beat this cancer. She was both energetic and full of life. As the year went on, Maggie sought medical advice from around the country, and traveled far and wide to find ways to resist the cancer and improve her health. Then her husband was diagnosed with cancer and Maggie's most recent attempt at another stem cell transplant (this time from a donor) failed. Both Sabine and I will miss her and the joy for life she had.

We had known Chuck and his wife, Peg, before we came to the support group. Their son was an outstanding member of the police department; a man I was privileged to hire. Mike still serves as a training officer on the department and I see a lot of his dad in him. Chuck also had a love of life and learning. As a trained scientist, with a Ph.D. in entomology and a U.W. faculty member, Chuck had a deep understanding of his cancer and shared it with each one of us. His questions to those who came to address our group were not only marked by his knowledge of the disease but also by the clear and special role he had as a patient, a consumer of medical care. (Often one of the visiting physicians would inquire as to whether Chuck had an M.D. or a Ph.D!).

Both Maggie and Chuck gave us all hope for the future. They both had valiantly fought and held back their cancer for many years. Their passing was a sad event for all of us who knew them. Though they both now have passed from this life to their Creator, they still give me hope and the realization that life is a special gift -- to be lived everyday and never squandered.

Thanks to both of you, Chuck and Maggie, and may your souls rest in peace now and forever!

We're back in town!

2009-08-16T16:06:00.005-05:00

Well, we are just back and I thought I would put something up right away (full story of the adventurous trip to follow!!).

Pics:

1. Sabine and I dancing at Many Glacier Lodge.

2. Andy Marks and I after our ascent of Swiftcurrent Mountain and fighting 50-60 mph winds! Whew!

3. We caught cut throat trout by the dozens at Avalanche Lake. I thought I was in New Zealand! Thanks to brother in law Ken for introducing me to this great sport!

4. On the westside of Glacier rests this little old mountain town called Polebridge. Good food and drink.

5. At Granite Chalet where unless you make a reservation a year in advance and hike up there and carry your own food and water, you are out of luck! Breathtaking view!

On top of this mountain Sabine celebrated her 100th day after transplant. We packed in a glass of wine and marked the day with a dehydrated "gourmet" meal.

6. Clowing around at one of the many absolutely awe-inspiring waterfalls in the park.

Okay that's it for now. We had some vascular problem with dialysis the last two days and after a short stop at some old friends from my Mpls PD days (Art and Grace Maxwell) we headed back to Wisconsin.

We had a number of med appointments this week -- Sabine's 100 day transplant checkup, some tests to see how the cancer responded to the transplant and meeting with our dialysis support staff. We are fearful that Sabine may need to have another procedure to open up the veins around her catheter (we had some high arterial pressures at the end of our trip).

We hiked just short of 40 miles during our time in Glacier. Sabine was fantastic (of course I know that!).

For more pics see our album on the Picassa Web: http://picasaweb.google.com/davidccouper/GlacierSlideshow?authkey=Gv1sRgCJXpn6O21tuNdA&feat=directlink

Love to all of you.

We Made It!

2009-08-06T09:18:00.002-05:00

There will be no pictures with this post! I am on line in a gas station in East Glacier, MT with dial-up internet service!

Pictures will have to come on our return to civilization. We have been here in the Glacier Park area for three days: hiking, flyfishing, and touring and eating lunch at the old lodges: East Glacier and Essex.

Dialysis has gone well and as long as we can find an electric hook-up, we are in business!

Today we take another hike up into the mountains and then return to Two Medicine Lake via boat. Then we will head further up the mountains to St Mary Lake and the Rising Sun Cabins where we will headquarter for the next four days (that is if our dialysis supplies arrive via truck! If not, we will have to leave and find a city with a dialysis center -- but I have faith!).

At St Mary we will meet with our friends, Andy and Kathy, and we will hike up to East Granite Lodge (I think that's the name) that is only accessible by foot for an overnite. Then back down the mountain the next day. The hike up and down takes a full day on foot!

On our way back home we hope to pass through Red Lodge, MT and visit with Art Maxwell, a cop whom I worked with during the glory days on the Minneapolis PD tactical squad in the early 60's. When Art and his wife, Grace, retired they walked to Red Lodge from Minneapolis and have been in Red Lodge ever since.

Okay, time is running out... Westward and Upward Ho!

Love and blessings to all of you who follow our exploits on this blog!